A Lesson Of Life for each one of us

“That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.”   ― Aldous Huxley, Collected Essays.  

Lesson of Life

Massive Bulldozer lifting power. Image from hulcher.com

Or: The Lesson of Life I learned from a bulldozer and a bucket of oil!

Think back to 1984, if you can.

This was the time of the war over the Falklands Islands, between England and Argentina. It was the year Indira Ghandi was assassinated. Reagan made his famous joke: “My fellow Americans, I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.” He supposedly didn’t know the microphone was on. It was the year of the summer Olympics in Los Angeles, and the Soviet Union boycotted it. Wonder why. 1984 is the name of George Orwell’s famous novel, although he wrote it in 1949. It was the year the first “megabit” chip was ever made in Bells Laboratories – the event that heralded and made possible the super computers. 1984 was the year the “Bill Cosby Show” had its first TV premiere.

1984 was the year my old bulldozer gave me the most amazing lesson of life.

In that former life, I had a farm and an earth moving business, doing land clearing, soil and water conservation dams and channels, noxious weed management, tree removal and levelling building blocks, regular bulldozer type work.

I need to give you some idea of the scale of the machinery used, to put this into perspective.

Lesson of Life

Ironbark Tree – image from nationalregisterofbigtrees.com.au

Imagine a tree, 100 feet tall, around 30 metres. That’s half as long again as a cricket pitch. This tree is an ironbark tree, half a metre through at the trunk. It has branches and leaves on top, roots around 2 metres deep in the earth, and with a big clump of soil around them. It had to be moved. My bulldozer was actually a track loader with a clam bucket on the front (similar to the photo above), useful for picking up objects in the big jaws. The tree was gently pushed over and laid on the ground, roots and all. My bulldozer came alongside, clamped the jaws over the trunk of the tree, picked it up and carried it across the field to a large log pile, lifted it 15 feet (4 metres) into the air and laid it on top of the pile, for pole harvesting later. That was easy. And it shows the power of the hydraulic system of this particular bulldozer.

Earth moving equipment needs to be maintained for it to work properly, and there are many moving parts, using lots of oil.

Onto the lesson of life. We, my assistant David and I, were doing a regular oil change. The hydraulic oil was very special – read ‘expensive’. In 1984 dollars, when a 5 gallon can of regular oil was $20, this was $200! Every drop precious. We drained the old oil, and replaced the filters and the oil plug. Because the machine was so big, we were working on opposite sides of it. David was 18 years old and as fit, flexible and athletic as any farm kid in those days. I called out to him:

“David, I’ve replaced the plug and tightened it. I’m ready to put the new oil in. Have you tightened the filters?”

“Yep. They are tight.”

In went the new oil, glistening gold as it poured down the funnel. I wiped my hands on an oil rag, then climbed up to start the engine. As it started, a spray mist of fine gold particles created a perfect rainbow arc beside me. The precious oil was gone in seconds. David hadn’t tightened the filters enough after all! The incredibly powerful hydraulic pump that could lift a 100 foot tall iron bark tree up in the air, roots and all, pumped all that expensive oil out into a magical golden rainbow.

I shut the engine down and sat for a few seconds in silence. David stood there, out of range, but prepared to sprint for the cover of the bushes behind him. Much went through my mind. First was the thought of the cost. Then there was the thought of how much spare oil we had, because the job had to go on. Then there was David, almost rooted to the spot in fear, very apprehensive about what I might do. He looked ready to bolt into the bush and make his way home across country. A virtual whirlwind of thoughts. However, although I felt like a good butt-kicking would release some pressure from the head of steam I had developed, I didn’t feel it would achieve much else. There had to be a better way.

I looked at David, with a purposely blank expression. “I should have checked those filters, shouldn’t I?”

He just looked back in surprise – not expecting that. He was expecting spanners or other loose objects to be hurled at him I think. He mumbled something in reply but I don’t think his lips had reconnected to his thoughts at that time.

“Could you get the other drum of oil please David? I’ll clean this up and tighten the filters again.”

We put the new oil in and it tested perfectly; back to work we went.

Lesson of Life

That’s about right!           Image from bestsayingsquotes.com

What was our lesson of life?

In the years since 1984, I have found so many lessons that came from that incident. I’ll list a few:

1. Getting angry didn’t serve anyone. Dealing with the problem did.
2. Blaming didn’t serve anyone. Taking responsibility did. On that point – was David to blame? He did say he tightened the filters. But David was an 18 year old staring goggle eyed at a huge machine, the likes of which were out of his imagination before he came to work for me. He was under my instruction, and it was my responsibility to make sure he understood and did what was necessary. No, I should have checked!
3. Monitor what you delegate. That came home with a $200 price tag, in 1984 – I have since had whole weekend seminars that taught me less than those few seconds and cost more too! Powerful lesson.
4. Teaching and imparting lessons rather than blaming for mistakes gains respect and trust.

I’ll spend a moment on this point. David was only 18 and this could have sent him packing, back to a cranky father with a drinking and gambling problem. Instead, it was a turning point in his life, as I later came to find out. From that moment on, he stepped up and took responsibility for maintenance. Never again did anything go unchecked; nothing was ever allowed to leak oil, rattle, or other than behave like brand new. It became his mission, to look after my machinery and be the best operator possible. He became a zealot!

We worked together for another couple of years when the business expanded and we took delivery of a massive earth moving scraper. When the dealer left after unloading and setting it up, I threw him the keys and said “Look after this, would you?”

The look on his face was priceless. However, the pride he felt was evident and he applied himself to caring for that new machine also, as though it was his very own.

David did not need a reprimand on that pivotal day. A lesson of life comes in many forms and opportunities are often disguised as disasters. That day was perhaps my greatest lesson of life and as I reflect on it from time to time, still more comes through.

5. Nurture your people, to allow them to become what is possible. Understanding of their situation and circumstances means that sometimes, you’ll make allowances. When you do, they have the opportunity to see that you are treating them as an individual, not a number. David realised I cared how he felt, and although he expected to be given the blame, he already felt bad enough – no one needed to hammer it home any more. His growth from this incident was phenomenal, but only because he was nurtured through it.
6. Education is critical. I didn’t expect David to know everything. I worked from where he was in life and built on his knowledge from that point. When he left my employ, he could stand tall with anyone in the industry.
7. The lessons you teach are taught to others. Did David tell anyone about this incident? Yes. His younger brother was the first one who came to talk to me about it. Their relationship changed at that time, as David became his mentor, rather than his tormentor – which many older brothers are. They taught others how to deal with crises when it happened to them. And so it went, down the line. Who knows how far the benefits of that lesson of life on that day have gone.
8. If David’s lesson from the day was to react in anger, instead of how it happened, do you think that lesson would have been perpetuated? Of course. However, it broke a cycle of blame and anger that had been his family’s way for generations. One incident can change a life, depending on how you deal with it.

In the 30 years since this event, much has happened. When I sold the machinery, David went his own way and I entered the corporate world. I attended seminars and heard the greats speak of their lesson of life and the amazing incidents they recounted. However, I often wondered about how these much embroidered tales of their wisdom and mastery actually began. Did they have an oil can moment too?

With my current programs and coaching clients, I am most conscious of how important the simplest lesson of life can be. The opportunity to impart them is vital, as we never know where they will end up and who they will empower.

“The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” ― Tom Bodett

Life Change Coaching?

We still have a couple of coaching places available for anyone wishing to experience and benefit from our life change coaching first hand.

At your free initial session;
• We will look at what you want and gain clarity on the cause or need for your desire for coaching and change.
• We will give you an objective perspective of your situation and the opportunities, as well as the obstructions to your progress.
• Finally, we can help you establish a plan to progress your desires and goals to where you really want them to be.

If this is you, take a look at our Coaching Page, answer the simple questions at the bottom and send the answers through to us, to schedule your free session. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray Jamieson

PPS: If you wish to read my book “Lessons of Life”, check it out here!

Related Posts:

Help From My Friends

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” ― Helen Keller

Moving House and all that stuff

#Moving House

Guess what?                                               Image from MotivatedPhotos.com

Moving House

“Move to a new country and you quickly see that visiting a place as a tourist, and actually moving there for good, are two very different things.”  ― Tahir Shah, Travels With Myself 

There’s something about moving house. New energy, new location, new start – another beginning. Yes, that’s all true. But so is the disruption, dislocation, disturbance and the dismay when the removalists, the phone or power company doesn’t keep their many promises to make this ‘the smoothest operation ever…..!”

And that’s where we are – moving house! For the next couple of weeks, we may, or may not get a chance to get more blogs out, but rest assured, after we settle into the new home, there is so much waiting for you. For example, the next couple of blogs – titles coming are “Empowerment Lessons from an Oilcan” and “Where to start”. Powerful, fundamental stuff, with a great story embedded around the lessons I found along the way.

Just like tonight. Moving house.

#Moving house

Oh no! I love doing that!              Image from motleynews.net

How do you keep your head together when the plan is to disrupt, dissemble and generally pull apart every part of your life as it is, box it and reassemble many miles and hours later?

There’s a way that is working for me. I work from the Life Change 90 program, and the organisation it provides in my day is handling everything for me. I put in my challenges and goals for the day each morning, I get my pep talk and off I go. The progress has been amazing – we are actually some days ahead of schedule! Then in the evening, I sit for a few minutes, tick off what we have achieved, tally the results, write a few words about the day and its progress and enable tomorrow’s plan and schedule to come through. I note that and I’m outta here – those few minutes morning and night have made the rest of my day so smooth!

One of the things I am working on is a mild revision of the Life Change 90 program. Correcting a few typo errors in the original text, which somehow I missed before it went to the producer, and adding a few details in a few sections to make it even simpler to understand and live with. By the end of the month, I expect the new version will be uploaded and available to you. If you are one of the folks who take a copy in the meantime, you’ll have the new one emailed to you, as soon as we get it back to us! No charge!

If you’d like this level of support in your day, whether you are moving house, or moving mountains, this is where to get it. Click here and download the best friend you could wish for online! If you know someone else who needs something like this, send it to them and share the love. After all, everyone needs a friend!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails. And removalist trucks!

Ray

“Some part of me can’t wait to see what life’s going to come up with next! Anticipation without the usual anxiety. And underneath it all is the feeling that we both belong here, just as we are, right now.” ― Alexander Shulgin

#Moving house

OK, we are ready!              Image from blog.gamos.gr

Driven or Drifting

#Driven or drifting

Driven? Image from Forza Motorsport

#Driven or drifting

Drifting? Image from duotraq.com

Driven or Drifting

“Freedom lies in being bold.” ― Robert Frost

We are moving house at the moment. It’s a time of frantic activity, packing, planning and preparing for a major change. And it’s OK! We are enjoying the activity because we know there are great things to look forward to. The knowing is driving us forward to the new experiences we will share there.

After we arrive at our new home, we’ll unpack, get ourselves settled in, and then relax.

From time to time in everyone’s life, we are driven by a need, compulsion, goal or ambition, or fear. At other times, when none of these stimulants are present, we can find ourselves drifting, just cruising. Both are OK. As long as we are aware of what state we are in, and are happy with it.

It’s when we are unconsciously in a state of either being #driven or drifting that we can get into trouble.

Can you be unconsciously driven?

Yes. Consider the workaholic. Ask them why they work 18 hours a day and they may not know, or just say there’s “a lot on at the moment” and keep working. However, it’s a subconscious compulsion, driven by who knows what. It’s not something they can control; it actually controls them, and in the process, may ruin lives, relationships, health, businesses and more.

#Driven or drifting

Choices… Workaholic! Image from rockinmarriage.com

Workaholics are not the only ones driven by unconscious compulsions and drivers. There are all the other ‘holics’ as well, plus those obsessed with anything that prevents them from enjoying the ebb and flow of normal life. Collectors are a great example. It’s wonderful to collect items of special significance to you. However, when it takes over your life, costs you financially, emotionally, ruins relationships, health and families, even your best friend will suggest that your obsession with collecting bottle tops has taken over – your life is no longer your own!

Can you be unconsciously drifting?

Yes, again. When the rush dies down, it’s nice to sit on the couch and watch a movie, or read a book. It’s a natural cycle of life that we rest and recharge the batteries before the next big push. But what if there is no ‘next big push’?

The danger of being too comfortable.

When life is cruising like this, each day is a routine where nothing challenging happens, perhaps beyond some traffic, your team losing or the local store being out of your favourite item, the danger is that your mind, and sometimes your muscles, atrophy. “Use it or lose it” is the old saying, and there’s a lot of value in it.

#Driven or drifting

Opportunity passing by. Image from wilywalnut.com

We know that one of the greatest defences against mental illnesses such as Parkinson’s or dementia, for example, is to actively challenge your mind. Crossword puzzles, electronic games and other specific mental activities force the mind and the brain to work and create fresh new neural pathways, that somehow manage to stave off the onset of these degenerative mental illnesses for years, even when there is a genetic predisposition towards them. Being lazy has a terrible price to pay, and it’s not a direct cost. It’s the cost of what you can lose, both in opportunity and function, by not getting out and taking part in life, contributing and being challenged by life. Sometimes the greatest losses are only realised later, when you learn that an incredible opportunity passed by, while you were sitting on your couch!

Balancing life’s driven and drifting cycles.

Human beings need goals, as something to aim for, a purpose, something to identify with and to look forward to.  As a species, we need something to look forward to, something to give us some brightness of the future, some hope. Even the worst day or mood can be lifted when the person is shown a little something they value, something to look forward to. At best, the goals we set can be empowering, motivating and inspirational, as they should be. Whether it’s a family goal, or the love of family that motivates and drives us, or whether it’s a goal to be the greatest in the world at something, it doesn’t matter. As long as it moves us, and stops the atrophy.

However, to balance it, we all need some downtime. Our bodies have a “circadian rhythm”, a 24 hour cycle in which we are programmed for a period of driven activity, and a period when the program is for the body to sleep, to rest and recuperate. Driven or drifting throughout a 24 hour period. Genetically, this is how we are programmed.

Mentally, it’s similar with being driven or drifting, but with different time frames. If we have an interest in something, we are inspired and motivated by it, but when we complete that challenge, the drive to understand and master it, that drive often dissipates and we can move on from it. Depending on what it is, that cycle can last from moments to days, months or years. At the end of that cycle, the mind needs to tune out, before tuning in again on something new.

Even the most satisfying career or job needs us to take a break, to maintain our freshness and enthusiasm. We take annual holidays – at least, we should! Most employment contracts specify some time off each year, but it’s great also to take breaks on weekends, to escape from the rush, the drive and to ‘smell the roses’, appreciating our family and friends and life other than the career or driving force.

#Driven or drifting

Moving house? Image from removalists.com

Just like my wife and I will rest after we move into our lovely new home, and unpack the boxes containing our lives. We will rest, recover and start the forward planning process again, from a new base.

Are you locked into a rhythm of being too much driven or drifting?

How do you know? And what can you do about it?

The first step towards regaining control of life, whether you are driven or drifting, is to be aware of what you are doing. Consciousness is not something everyone is good at! How many times have you driven to work, and only realised when you arrived that you had no memory of the trip? Or the train or bus ride? When we develop a routine of checking in on awareness each day, we regain consciousness of our activities, our thoughts and our direction, and only then can we begin to take back control of our lives. That provides the opportunity to decide on our driven or drifting schedules, when to set and work on our inspirational goals, and when to take time to relax, recuperate and drift along with the flow of life.

The next step is to consciously assess where we are in life compared to where we want to be, and decide on how to make up the differences. Setting goals to achieve the necessary steps to catch up to where we decided perhaps in our youth, where we wanted to be by each certain age. Life throws us curve balls, and only when we become conscious do we realise that we haven’t achieved everything we wanted, or we are not feeling the satisfaction from it that we expected.

That’s when a program to raise awareness and provide the discipline and skills you need to get back on track can be such a powerful aid to progressing towards the life you dreamed of. That program would inspire you each morning, refresh your goals for you and point out the action steps you needed to take that day, provide you with a ‘to do’ list of other life matters for the day, and close your day with a cheer, congratulating you on your achievements, and inspiring you to look forward to tomorrow. You can have that program; it’s HERE! To find out more about it, click this link and picture yourself moving forward into the life you dreamed of, only this time, with the guidebook you always knew was somewhere to be had. Now you can have it!

If you feel inspired to take the next step now, perhaps others will too. Please forward this article and share it with others who you feel want more from their lives too. Change their lives, as well as your own.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life.   Abert F. Geoffrey

#Driven or drifting

I’m my own man! Image from super-trainer.com

Risk

#Risk

Hanging on with…..?
Image from timsstrategy.com

Risk

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.”  ― William G.T. Shedd

Many years ago, I owned a farm in Southern Queensland, Australia and ran an earth moving business from it.  One of my team was Tracey, a great guy who rode a Triumph motorcycle, had long hair down to the middle of his back, and absolutely adored his wife Rhonda and their two little girls.  He was a real wag and I loved working with him.  And he could drive bulldozers! Very important in our game.

The first Tuesday in November in Australia we are plagued with the Melbourne Cup, a horse race run in Melbourne where the prize money for the winners is obscene but it’s still just a horse race.  The whole country virtually stops for the day, to let the horses race – it’s an institution!

Tracey said to me: “Having a bet today?”

I replied “No, not today.”

He asked: “Don’t you have a bet sometimes?”

I answered him, “I just bet $50,000 on buying us a new bulldozer; does that count?”

“Never thought of it that way” he said and we went back to work.

#Risk

My new  Earth Mover!
Image from olm-macchine.it

“A bend in the road is not the end of the road…Unless you fail to make the turn.” ― Helen Keller

What is risk?

Risk is when you stick your neck (or wallet) out for something you think you can win, but it is not guaranteed.  Like my bulldozer bet.  My business needed a new, more powerful and versatile machine so I chose what I thought would handle the work I had coming in, and the risks I took were that it was the right machine for the work, and that there was enough work to make the investment worthwhile. This $25 ‘risk’ I had been dared to was nothing more than a bet, a gamble I was almost sure to lose on!

Recently I was sent an email with the dubious title “Just wondering…are you a risk taker?”

The email went on to dare me to invest $25 (not much, really) to get an unspecified gift worth $1,000 plus a supposed money-making blogging platform.  After all, it’s only $25.  How could I go wrong?

When I invested/took a risk of $50,000 on my bulldozer, it was the equivalent value of five new family cars at the time.  That was a risk, but not a gamble.  I’d calculated the odds, weighed up the work I had and the amount of enquiry I was getting and took that risk.  The risk was worthwhile.

If I invest any money at all on what someone else has calculated to have a value, it was THEIR value they used to invite me to take MY risk, then I risk wasting 100% of my money.  The possibility is that their $1000 value is not worth a cracker to me, if I don’t need or want the unspecified item they are ‘giving’ away.  The blogging platform may be a scam or just plain worthless.  Since then, I have been bombarded with more and more emails, up to 3 times daily, trying all sorts of ways to entice me to part with that $25.  If that is what the blogging platform requires, then it’s a safe bet I’d waste my money.  That is called discernment – or assessing the risk/reward potential.

#Risk

Risk Vs Reward – Calculate the risk and prepare for it!
Image from 1000lifelessons.com

To live is to risk!

People and in fact all living creatures have an inbuilt survival instinct – in other words, they fear for their lives and have this survival program running to protect it.  We jump out of the way of moving cars, avoid heights, wild animals, spiders and snakes and so on, because of this anti risk program we have running.  Rather than risk death, we aim to stay alive.

“The only safe thing is to take a chance.”   ― Elaine May

To love is to risk!

Is this the right person for me?  Am I worthy of this person?  Can I handle a relationship?  Will I be hurt?  Will it last?  These are all the questions our risk monitors race through our minds when we fall in love, or there is even the chance of it.  Is this worth the risk?

“There is no intensity of love or feeling that does not involve the risk of crippling hurt. It is a duty to take this risk, to love and feel without defense or reserve.”   ― William S. Burroughs

#Risk

Is it worth it? Absolutely!
Image from pessimistincarnate.blogspot.com

Being yourself is a risk!

Will I be liked?  Will I be accepted?  Will I ‘fit in’ with the group?  Perhaps this is the risk that people are most frightened of, and why fashion and fads are so powerful in societies.  We are conditioned to believe that we are not quite right – perhaps the “Original Sin” conditioning, and that we need to be something else in order to be accepted by everyone else.  People are so anxious to ‘conform’ to someone else’s idea of what is ‘right’ or ‘in’, that they are frightened of just being themselves, yet it is what and who we are most qualified to be.  No other person on the planet can be YOU as perfectly as you can be!  Being outstanding is the key to success, yet it is what terrifies most people the most!

#Risk

Being yourself is different enough!
Image from rachelslookbook.com

“So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?”   ― Hunter S. Thompson

Why do we fear these risks?

Low self-confidence – the fear that we will not perform to the desired standard, and low self esteem – the fear that others will not like or value us, are the two beliefs that anchor us in fear of being ourselves.  We fear taking the #risk because we feel we may not perform or may not be liked for trying to perform.  Our need to be accepted and liked overrides our desire to succeed, or even try to succeed.

The antidote to this fear of taking a risk is a #personal empowerment program that delivers #self-confidence and #self esteem to you, in small doses, daily, continually, building your confidence and self esteem to the levels where you can walk confidently out into the world, just being you.  And proud of it!  Knowing that whatever risks you choose to take on you will succeed at. And feel great about!

“Happiness is a risk. If you’re not a little scared, then you’re not doing it right.”   ― Sarah Addison Allen, The Peach Keeper

Does such a self confidence and self esteem program exist?

Yes, absolutely, and it delivers much more than self-confidence and self esteem.  Confidence is built on repeated experiences of success.  The Life Change 90 program teaches goal setting and how to set small goals each day, as part of a larger goal getting program.  Each little goal you achieve is a confidence boost.  More than that, you learn to harvest the lessons from the day, find where your shortfalls are and work on improving any that matter to your success.  Communication skills, financial management skills, unlearning bad habits and installing new habits, all ticked off at the end of the day, to give you that feeling of “I DID IT!!!”  Daily tutorials hone in on specific areas and build from month to month to enhance your education in life skills, stress management, health, and personal empowerment generally in all areas of your life!

#Risk

What she said!
Image from bpw-lakegeneva.ch

How do I receive this new personal empowerment?

Small, daily inputs, a few minutes each morning and evening.  Reading the tutorial each morning will take a couple of minutes, reviewing your goals and To-Do list, checking off your gratitude list and setting your affirmation a few minutes more, and you are ready for the day!

In the evening, check off your goal achievements, lesson for the day, expenses and income and a few minutes on your journal, and your program is complete!  This is your personal empowerment program in full.  For investing these few minutes a day, you receive a very healthy boost of self-confidence and self esteem, wisdom and experiences consolidated by your reviews, elimination of bad habits and installation of new desirable habits, and your goals and dreams are delivered to you, a step at a time, day after day!

“Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others … Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.” ― Katherine Mansfield, Journal of Katherine Mansfield

What is the risk?

The risk is that you will get the program and do nothing with it.  That’s why you will receive these blogs, week after week after week, a little pep talk, some further education in specific areas and a reminder of how powerful you could be, by living this program as though it was your life.  The truth is, it can change your life and in the next 90 days, your life could be incredibly enhanced by it!

Take a look at the program HERE and start right now!  The change you could make is the one you were searching for when you began reading this article!

If you feel this article has boosted your belief that you can become all you were meant to be, all you ever dreamed of being, and feel good about being YOU, then there are others who need to know this feeling too!  Please share it, email the link or reblog it to your friends and anyone else who you think may benefit from reading it.  They will thank you too!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”   ― Theodore Roosevelt, Strenuous Life

Please also refer to my other posts on #Empowerment, to assist you with your specific challenge.

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

Financial Empowerment

#Risk

Being yourself
Image from inspirationalquotesb.blogspot.com

Where are you searching?

#Whereareyousearching

An obvious place to search…!
Image from treasury.gov.au

Where are you searching?

“Make sure that the beer – four pints a week – goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop.” — Winston Churchill to his Secretary of War, 1944

It was a dark and stormy evening.  The very drunk man weaved his way down the footpath, crossed the road and into the car park.  He thought he could see his car, over on the far side, across the garden beds.  As he stumbled through the flowers, he pulled his car keys out, and dropped them.  He stopped, looked around but as it was dark, he couldn’t see them amongst the flower beds.  He turned around.

Some time later, another, quite sober man walked down the same footpath and saw our very drunk friend on his hands and knees under a street light, obviously searching for something.  He stopped and asked if he was OK, and had he lost something.

“Yesh… (belch) …!  I dropped my (hiccup) car keys an I yam trying to find them!”

“Can I help you search?” asked our Good Samaritan?

“That would be very mush apprec.. apprec… apprec… Thank you!”

After some time, it was obvious the keys were not there.  The Good Samaritan asked:  “Where were you when you dropped them?”

“I wuz in the flower garden over there in the car park an they dropped right out of my fingers…!”

“Then why are you looking here, and not over there where you dropped them?”

“Silly..  There’s no light over there!”

We can laugh at this funny story, but is there a real life parallel here?

#Where are you searching for what you want from life?

#Where are you searching

I went to the woods to seek enlightenment
Image from flickr.com

Are you looking where it’s easy to see, where it’s easy to be, rather than where “it” actually is?

Are you looking “out there” in things, or other people for the answers you need from a lot closer to home?  It’s easy to bury ourselves in work, or distract ourselves with toys, technology, titillation or temptation.  However, there comes a time when we realise that if we REALLY want to achieve what it is we said we wanted so long ago, that we have to get real, and go looking for it in the right place.  So where are you searching?

#Where are you searching

Searching for answers in toys
Image from thisnext.com

The right place may not always be in the light. The right place may not be easy.  The right place may be uncomfortable for a while.  The right place might be hard.

But being in the wrong place is eventually a lot harder and darker and less fun than looking in the right place!

Where are you searching?

Why are you searching there, rather than where it is?

Are you searching in the wrong place because you don’t know where to look?  Or because you are afraid you’ll find it?  That’s the scary one – fear of success can really mess up your party, and your life!  Getting over this is actually not as hard as you think, once you realise it might be a problem for you.  Read on…

“The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation from the self.” ― Albert Einstein

How do you know where to search?

The answers are usually within.  Within us.  Starting with the will to be honest with ourselves, and get clear with what we truly want.  And why we want it.  Once we know what we want and have a powerful reason why, the how will soon appear.  It always does.  Internal motivation works that way.

Whether the how, the method, strategy or direction to what you want is through a person, an opportunity, knowledge or whatever, once you have clarity and the motivation to pursue it, you will find a way.  However, that’s the hard way….

Many years ago, Thomas Alva Edison, working in conjunction with a team of researchers at his Menlo Park studio, invented the first practical light bulb which was great for looking in dark places.

You may not need a light bulb in your search, but you may need assistance to find what you are looking for, both in the early stages when you seek clarity and empowerment, and later, when you need a goalsetting strategy and a support team.  Where are you searching now?  Perhaps there is an easier way.

It’s all here for you.  We have a program that can change your life, pretty much as quickly as you choose to plug into it!  Your search must start with yourself, and that is where the program starts, creating a safe and supportive environment around you, teaching you how to get clarity on what you really want from life, enhancing your powers of awareness and observation, teaching you life strategies and consolidating your lessons every evening.  Your goalsetting activities are recorded daily, habits you want to break or create are recorded so you can see your progress with them.  Advanced life skills are bundled in so that you can change your life, in the next 90 days!  Permanent, positive change.  Is that what you were searching for?  Click here to discover it now!

If you feel this post has helped you to stop searching under the lamp-post and start looking where your goals are, then please, share this blog, pass it on to your friends and associates.  Perhaps you could be the one who helps them to start looking for what they want from life in the right place too!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

“Do not look for happiness outside yourself. The awakened seek happiness inside.”
Peter Deunov

Please also refer to my other posts on #Empowerment, to assist you with your specific challenge.

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Personal Empowerment

Empowered by love

#Where are you searching?

I FOUND IT!
Image from goinflippincrazy.com

An Angel Without Wings

#Angel

A whole city of Angels!
Image from swotti.com

“If I got rid of my demons, I’d lose my angels.”
Tennessee Williams, Conversations with Tennessee Williams

An Angel Without Wings.

God is forever creating new Angels.

One day some time ago, he finished another Angel – but was having a bad day and forgot to give her wings.

“Darn it!” he thought.  “Well, I won’t put her back.  I’ll give her extra serves of love and courage, a radiant smile and she can go to earth and be an Angel down there, where she won’t need wings.”  So he put her on earth, as a baby.

Earth was a harsh environment for the Angel baby.  Life kept putting obstacles in her way, challenges to solve and the burdens of other people to weigh on her also.  There always seemed to be something else to do, someone else to heal, to care for or to help.

“My Angels have a lot of work to do,” he told Saint Peter.

But with the extra love and courage in her heart, the Little Angel’s smile shone like a beacon through all her trials and tribulations.  She became an inspiration to those around her.

God said, “I will give her more to do.”  He sent more needy people her way.

Life’s ordeals and unscrupulous people took away all she had, her health, her marriage, her money and he thought, “Surely this will try her out!”

Her courage never faltered, still her smile shone and her love inspired those who knew her.

St Peter looked down and wept at what he saw!

“God!!” he cried.  “You can’t keep this up!  She has already done more by her example than many of your other Angels and raised her children to be like herself.  Her example inspires all in the world that see her.  Please ease her burden, so that she may freely work for you!”

“Perhaps, Peter, you are right.  I will think on it.”  God was pensive.  He stroked a whiskered chin with his thumb.  “I’ll tell you what I will do, Peter.  I will give her the love of a wonderful man, surround her with true friends and shower her with peace of mind and satisfaction for what she does.

Maybe in the future her burdens will ease – but right now, My Little Angel Without Wings has much to do.”

#Angel

WWII Fuzzy Wuzzy Angel in Papua New Guinea, assisting an injured Australian soldier. Angels come disguised in so many ways!
Image from en.wikipedia.org

“For truly we are all angels temporarily hiding as humans.”
Brian L. Weiss

 

There are many angels without wings, just like this one.  You know who you are, Dear Angel.  You know when you are an angel to someone who needs you, someone whose challenges need some extra attention and you can give it to them, even though your own troubles and challenges almost overwhelm you.  You know so many people count on you and you just have to be there for them.  Take a bow – you are not alone!

#Angel

An Angel at work!
Image from humanrights.gov.au

But you feel alone, Dear Angel, so much of the time.  You feel like the pain you bear will overpower you.  You feel like the isolation your situation causes will bury you in loneliness.  You feel like no-one else would understand your situation, even if you knew how to explain it to them.  And yet you keep on. And you keep praying.  Because that’s what an Angel will do.

More power to you.

This world has need of an angel like you.  We need more of you, many more of you.  If I could create the “Angel without Wings Network”, you’d be in there, with all those other special angels without wings, helping each other and helping heal the world.

There is an Angel Network.  However, it doesn’t cater for angels like this one, or perhaps an #Angel like you.  You are an Angel in hiding, a secret Angel that only a few people know about and appreciate, unfortunately.

#Angel

Even Angels have bad days!
Image from fanpop.com

What I do know is that you, our Dear Angel, need help.  You need to give yourself the best possible chance of making it through this, and out to the bright spot on the other side.  And to do that, you need a loving and supportive environment around you.  You need encouragement, morning and evening, to keep going.  You need to see your achievements each evening, so you know your day has been worthwhile, valuable to someone and satisfying to you.  You need your own goals to aim for and to achieve, and you need to be taught how to rise to all the challenges that life is and will continue to throw at you.

Maybe we can help with that.  Everything you need is in a program created to empower people and Angels facing challenges, just like you may be.  The support, the positive encouragement, the education, motivation and inspiration each day, right here with you, every day.

Need a hand getting through life? CLICK HERE FOR ASSISTANCE!  Let us empower you to make it, no matter what life throws at you.  After all, an Angel without wings still should feel what it’s like to fly!

If you feel that this post has empowered an Angel, or made an Angel feel she could fly again, please share it, reblog it and pass it on to other Angels without Wings.  You know who they are.  Every angel should feel like they have another Angel to share with, and to fly to at times.  This could be your time to fly!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails, Angels!

Ray

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.”
Anonymous, Holy Bible: King James Version

Empowerment through Challenge

#challenge

A leap of faith
Image from daretoleap.co.uk

Empowerment through Challenge

“Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.” ― Roger Crawford

There are times when the road seems too hard, the climb too steep, the challenge too great.  There are times when the most reasonable decision would be to give up, admit that the challenge was just too hard, and go home.

There are also people for whom that is not a choice.

Their choice is to press on to succeed or literally to die trying – or not trying.  Sometimes, the challenge MUST be faced, whether we like it or not.  At these times, heroism surfaces.

The unlikely heroes are those people facing chronic illnesses, chronic pain, the “invisible diseases” such as Depression, CFS and Fibromyalgia and other illnesses that at a glance, people afflicted with them show no visible symptoms.  Other people with little choice are those whose children face a challenge and as parents, they must continue.  There are people struggling on minimum wage, raising families on incomes below the poverty line, with no safety net and where failing the #challenge means starvation.

#challenge

Invisible Illness – unsung heroes
Image from noonegetsflowersforchronicpain.wordpress.com

There are movies produced about some of the heroes.  We may never know the truth of their heroism, such as in the tale of “Lorenzo’s Oil”, where a father studied his son’s disease and in the movie, found the cure for it.  There are real life parallels to this tale now, especially since genetic engineering has become an acknowledged branch of science.

There are other heroes, such as where a person has been wrongfully convicted and either they or their partner studied law in order to challenge and perhaps overturn the decision.  Heroes where the underdog came through, changed their world, and that of many others too.

#challenges

Heroes of everyday challenges
Image from themotherhood.com

On a day-to-day basis, there are many heroes facing a challenge that will never make headlines, but is just as real.  The single mother, trying to raise her children, without support, on a budget far below what is necessary, in circumstances that can at best be described as a challenge.  The small business owner facing tough competition in a changing market, struggling to survive.  A person with low self-confidence and low self esteem looking for a new job, a career, or even just a friend. The dyslexic person in the admin role, trying to write a report.  So many people face challenges that to others are no big deal, but to them, it’s their life!

There are times when a challenge has created a break through in thinking and a whole new invention, solution or branch of science has resulted.  The problem has been solved because someone either “broke through” the problem with advanced thinking and higher intelligence, or they “broke with” the thinking; they tried something totally different, lateral and creative and found a back-door solution to the problem!  Only challenge provides this opportunity and it is how humanity has advanced.

Can you break through to succeed where others have failed the challenge?

It’s possible, but that doesn’t mean you always get your old life back.  Sometimes, it’s not there to reclaim.  You may overcome the challenge but you cannot unlearn the pain you endured.  You will be a different person, even if your old life is offered to you again.  It may not feel the same, because you are now changed, evolved.  You’ll need to grow into your new life, even when you succeed and overcome the challenge!

“Embrace each challenge in your life as an opportunity for self-transformation.” ― Bernie S. Siegel

Where do you turn, when it is YOU facing the challenge?

The first thing to remember is that we are not alone in this.  Maybe there is no saviour nearby, but that doesn’t mean help is not available.  A quote from Einstein said “Man cannot solve the problems he created with the same level of intelligence with which he created them”.  In other words, to solve a problem, access a higher level of wisdom, and to do that we need to find or become someone with more wisdom.  Become smarter.

How can we become more intelligent when facing a challenge?

Specialised knowledge is required to solve a specific problem.  Go to the source of wisdom in that area.  Research, learn, outsmart your challenge.

Financial challenge – perhaps too much debt?

The local library has resources on debt and creditor control, but also resources on creating more income and cashflow.  Life Change 90 presented the Financial Empowerment blog recently.  It also has brilliant strategies on how you can become financially empowered by accessing higher financial wisdom and thinking.

Social challenge?

Personal development, working on your Self Confidence and Self Esteem can make a huge difference.  There are simple and easy ways to improve these critical areas of your life, when you know how.  These blogs HERE and HERE provide a pathway to tools, resources and education in those areas.

Health Challenge?

There are two parts to a health challenge:  Firstly, finding the cure and recovering from your illness, if that is possible.  Secondly, managing to live and function and have a quality of life while you face your health challenge.

#challenges

Starting over in a new life
Image from amputee.com

Facing a health challenge can be debilitating.  Whether it is pain, energy levels, tiredness, nausea, headache or more, when it is constant, it wears you down, slows thinking and numbs your feelings and emotions.  It is relentless.  The most positive person will face times of despair when it just seems too hard, too painful and just too much.  We wrote about this in the Challenges Of Chronic Illness Blog.  All the while you are feeling so miserable, you also face the medication, the hard work that you and your mind and your physical body must still do to actually look for and implement the cure and the healing process.  It’s even harder if there is no recognised cure and symptom management is your only apparent option.

What does your particular challenge have in common with all other challenges?

There are a few aspects of facing a challenge that are common to each, and therefore have a way of being handled and managed.  There are specifics which are unique to each individual challenge, and you will learn to handle these once you get the fundamentals down. Let’s look at the common aspects for strategies towards success.

Challenge Fundamentals

#challenge

We all need goals!
Image from traducirco.com

First:  Goalsetting.  It is vital to the life of every person on the planet, but handled differently when facing a severe challenge.  When life is easy, you can set huge goals and risk everything on them because you feel invincible.  But that’s not now.  Your goals need to be small, step by step goals that you might mark off in hours, or even minutes.  The increments to your milestones might be tiny, but they are there.  When you achieve them, you must celebrate like crazy!  For a person learning to walk after losing their legs in an accident, running a marathon is not the goal; just standing up is the challenge.  When you make it, celebrate!  And when you take the first step again, celebrate that too!  The marathon can come later; right now, let’s just take one more step!  Keep your goals small enough to achieve realistically, without compromising other critical areas of your life.  Celebrate each in your own way when you achieve them.

Second:  Support.  Who do you have around you?  A team is important.  Not necessarily friends because sometimes they try to not hurt your feelings, by not telling you the truth.  Someone impartial.  Maybe a coach?  Your church minister?  Someone who can be a mentor to you and honestly let you know how you are doing, by providing objectivity.

Third:  A program.  You MUST be organised.  This challenge will wear you down unless you have a plan of attack for it, and you follow that plan.  The plan needs to address your goals, and keep you up to working towards your goals every day.  It needs to empower your motivation to keep you inspired, even through tough times.  Affirmations and encouragement, inspirational education, new ways to look at obstacles, and challenges to broaden your thinking to find new solutions.  It should make you think laterally, to give you a fresh perspective.

Fourth:  Personal development and education.  To rise above your challenge, you need to be more of you than you are now.  Self education, self development, growth and evolution are required.  Your program must provide a pathway to a new level of consciousness if it is to work for you.

Fifth:  Encouragement.  A platform and a process to recognise and celebrate learnings, lessons and achievements.  When you have a win, it must be acknowledged.  Every night, you need your program to register your activities and achievements so you can chart your production and progress.

Sixth:  A Supportive Environment.  Even if you are totally alone, you need an environment around you that is positive and uplifting, conducive to success and progress, even if much of it is internal to begin with; especially to begin with – the time of most challenge!  This is when self-discipline and focus on goals is most critical, to enable you to build momentum towards your goals, to consolidate new habits where necessary, and to leave the old ones behind.  Your program must create this environment around you.

To learn about and access such a program, CLICK HERE for the framework and the features you need to build in, and the benefits it will give you.  Plug your life and your challenges into this program, to look at your world in a new light.  The light at the end of the tunnel!

If you feel better able to handle your challenges after reading this post, please reblog it and share it around.  You may be doing a friend or someone in your family the favour they have been secretly praying and crying out for!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment, to assist you with your specific challenge.

Empowered by Gratitude

Empowered by my Failures

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered by love

#challenges

A new lease on a new life!
Image from onlytoptens.com

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Empowered by Gratitude

Gratitude?

#Gratitude

A new day, a new start
Image from aquabumps.com

“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”
L.M. Montgomery

Did you wake up this morning?

That’s something to have gratitude for.  Many didn’t.  What does waking up each morning mean?

When you wake up each morning, or whatever time you wake up, it means you have another chance to start life all over again.  Now I know that some people are locked into a pattern which is not easy to break free of, and I’m thinking here of people in chronic pain, people who are on minimum wage and who know that finding a better paid job won’t be easy, and so many more people who have life challenges to face.

But you woke up, didn’t you?  That’s the first step towards a new life, a life change if you wish, but regardless of how you look at it, your life starts again the moment you wake up each day and that’s something to show #gratitude for.  You got another chance to start over.

What can you do with a new day?

Perhaps you can’t change everything in your life all in the next day, this new day you have given to you.  But you can change something if you need to, want to, or HAVE to!  Start small, with the single thing that will make the most difference if you change it.  A habit?  A thought?  Something you don’t do, but perhaps should?  Something, anything, but if your life is not exactly where you want it to be right now, at this time of your life, start making changes, little ones, to gently steer your life in the direction you need it to go.  Then show some gratitude, say a little “thank you” that you can do even this much.

How do you know if the change is the right one?

In a way, it doesn’t matter.  It’s the stagnation that is the death of a life.  Sometimes, any movement is better than none, but once you make a start, get some movement, you can steer from there.  It’s very hard to steer your car when it’s parked at the kerb.  You need to be moving, any direction at all, before you can steer it.  So start moving.  And show gratitude that you can actually move a little.  A little “Thank you” for the ability to move.

Gain some momentum.

Once you are moving, after your feet hit the floor, you started to move, you turned in the right direction, you got a little speed up.  Perhaps not much, but a little.  This is called momentum and there is power in momentum.  The weight of your movement, the mass of you moving along has a force.  Use it to shift other bigger things.  Point it towards obstacles, tack on another change or two and use your momentum to carry you through.  Old train drivers called this “getting up a head of steam” and there you go, you have momentum.  You are moving, steering, gaining power with your momentum and making more changes.  There’s something more to show #gratitude for, a little “thank you” for the momentum.

#Gratitude

A head of steam!
Image from burnham-on-sea.com

This is called changing your life, a step at a time.  It’s simple, but not always easy, and much depends on where you are starting from, whether at the top of the slope, or the bottom.

“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-quotes-to-change-your-momentum/#GZhkeeqdED5smDXI.99
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-quotes-to-change-your-momentum/#GZhkeeqdED5smDXI.99
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-quotes-to-change-your-momentum/#GZhkeeqdED5smDXI.99

Sometimes you need a hand.

Look around you.  How many people are there in your life?  How many of them do you think are feeling the same way each day, facing challenges and wondering how to make it?  There are a few, feeling just like you, and some feeling very challenged also, much more than you.  My Dad told me something that has stuck with me, when I was around 7 years of age and walking out on a frosty morning to milk the two old milking cows.  I complained about the cold frost on my boots and he said “I cried when I had no shoes, til I saw a man who had no feet!”  I didn’t realise he was quoting the old Sufi proverb but it didn’t matter.  I gladly walked down to the cow-bail, in gratitude for my boots.

There are many people who would like a hand, and many who would like to help you.  More than you realise.  Sometimes though, you need to take the first step on your own, to demonstrate to others that you are serious about the changes.

One way of making little changes that add up to a powerful momentum in a short period of time is to lock into a program that has these gentle changes built into it, and can help you decide what and when and where the most effective changes could be made.  That program also has a gratitude section in it, and without a doubt, showing gratitude for where you are already is perhaps the most powerful tool at your disposal! 

To learn more about this powerful program with the inbuilt gratitude program as well as all the other vital tools for changing your life, CLICK HERE NOW! 

You’ll be glad you did, as you watch your life change direction under your guidance, and build up a head of steam in a way that you will always want to show gratitude for!

Show some gratitude!

After all, you DID wake up this morning, didn’t you?

If you feel gratitude for the lessons I hope I have presented to your here, please reblog and share this post with your friends, family and associates.  Share your journey with them.  Everyone deserves an opportunity to look at their new day with fresh eyes and feel gratitude just for having the chance to start again, this new day.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray Jamieson

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. 
Melody Beattie

By the way, if you are looking for some inspiration on how to make the most of your new day, please also refer to my other posts below on Empowerment: There might be something of special interest for you here.

Empowered by my Failures

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered by love

Empowered by my Failures

#failures

Oprah Winfrey, a failure?
Image from erictippetts.com

Empowered by Failures

I have made mistakes.  I have had failures.  Lots of failures.  Sometimes, I did the same thing again and it still failed!  A bit like the guy betting on replays of the Melbourne Cup, just in case the favourite racehorse got up this time.  Let’s face it, some people take a while to “get it” and I’m probably one of those who need to do it the hard way.  But the hard way sometimes really cements the lessons of your #failures for you.

How was I empowered by my failures?

Let’s look at some of my failures.  I had a marriage breakdown.  Why?  Because I was busy being a guy, a provider and a worker, but not very good at being a communicator, husband or father.

What did I learn from my failures?

There are some things that need to be put first in life, and family is one of them.  Sure, I needed to provide for my family, but I needed to make sure their happiness was in place before I tried to buy “stuff” for them.  What they wanted was my love, my company, my attention, not my “stuff”!

Another of my failures was in not doing enough homework on some things before jumping in.  I was impulsive and would make decisions on the spot, because I thought that fast decision-making and “being decisive” was the way to be.  It is, but only if you know what you are talking about and making decisions on.  For everything else, do the homework!

What did I learn from my failures?

Take time.  Just like sand takes time to filter through an hourglass, so does information take time to filter through my mind.  Give it the time it needs to process the information and the homework on the question at hand, and only then, make the decision.

Many people look to successful people for how to become successful.  The wise people also look at what the #failures have to teach us.  The light bulb wasn’t invented at the first experiment.  Every failure was documented and used as a stepping stone til finally, success came, after all those failures, those learning experiences.

#failures

Thomas Edison – a prolific failure!
Image from madeinindia.net.au

There is so much that I have learnt from failures over the years.  What I learnt when sitting back, many years later, was that I had developed a process that while ever I used it, worked for me, and made life good.  When I applied my life to a certain set of principles, took notice of what my intuition was telling me and acted from my heart with integrity, life was good.

I distilled this process over time, before I began to teach it.  The first programs went to corporations and they paid huge sums of money for it.  As I taught it, I also learnt more about it and when it evolved into my first public program, “The Executive Mastermind Program”, it was an amazing program.  I delivered it in four weekend workshops over a year, with huge amounts of support in between the workshops.  That was because for information to be retained, the mind and body need to continually integrate it and that was how we did it.  Accelerated Learning was the technique, the strategy that became famous for teaching people a new language in a few days…  I harnessed Accelerated Learning and used some NLP strategies and techniques to anchor it, and the lives of many people changed.

It was limited though and I over stretched myself, trying to do too much for too many.  Another of my failures.  I pulled back and went a little off course, veering off into financial planning for a time but that was also a mistake.

What did I learn from my failures?

Stay true.  Listen to my heart and stay in integrity.  Hmmm.  Sounds familiar.  So I’m back on track now, writing and teaching, and working with my program.  It works every time.

You can have it too.  It’s a program that has a number of amazing features.  When you look at these features, you can see why it would keep me, or you, on track:

  • A daily personal empowerment program, a page of motivational pep talk on a self development topic of value.  Each month for 3 months, the topic comes back in a little more depth to enhance and reinforce the learning, teaching me all about what is important for me and how to be better at being me.
  • A priority to-do list with check boxes for completion status
  • A problem solving program and process
  • A goal setting program, with action steps towards my #1 goal each day
  • A gratitude journal, to remind me of the wonderful things I already have in my life
  • A daily affirmation, to lock in what I desire from my life
  • Learning how to be aware of what I learnt from what happened to me today
  • Recording a ‘high’ and ‘low’ point of the day, to make me aware of mood shifts and my attitude and behaviour when things in my day change
  • A cashflow program, for recording my earning and spending and increasing my financial habits awareness
  • A comment on my major achievement for the day, a little celebration
  • A journal section with topics to discuss and explore, as well as my own personal journaling on thoughts about my day.

A few minutes morning and evening is all this program takes, but when I developed the first crude version of it back in 1992, it turned my then miserable life around on a sixpence!

What did I learn from my success program, inspired by my failures?

Awareness of my personality.  I learnt that there was a lot more going on around me than I thought.  Looking at my mood shifts, I realised I was jumping between sub-personalities!  When I mastered that, it was a game-changer.

Awareness of others.  As my awareness increased, I learnt to listen to and observe others more closely.  I was no longer swept along in the tide of humanity; I was an observer, choosing with discernment where I wanted to be.

Awareness of my finances.  No more reaching for my wallet to realise I’d already spent that note I thought I had.  I became conscious of my spending and many other habits that previously I had left on auto-pilot.

Awareness of my lessons.  What good is an experience if it doesn’t teach us something?  Each day I’d record what I learnt from my successes and failures and found I was sitting on a wealth of valuable experiences, that I had been glossing over and forgetting.

Awareness of my communications.  Failure in communications is ripping the world apart and it was tearing mine apart too.  When I became aware of the power of my words, what I said to me internally, and what I said to others, I took back control of my life.

Awareness of my intuition.  Perhaps my greatest failures were from not listening to my intuition screaming at me at critical moments.  Learning to discern between negative mind chatter and genuine intuitive processing and inspiration has possibly been the most powerful of all for me.  Intuition taps into a global network of incredible resources, information and a wealth of ideas and inspiration that a single human mind could not process, but it can access it!  The greatest minds have acknowledged it – Einstein and the American Founding Fathers to name a few.  Allowing the messages to come to me and recognising their value has been phenomenal – and averted many failures too!

How can you gain empowerment from my failures?

This program is available to you also.  The work of putting it together has been done.  Now you can download it and plug it into your life.  In a few minutes, morning and evening, you can start to change your life too!  I found that over a 90 day period, I experienced life changing results from the habits I broke or changed and the new habits I formed and integrated into my life.  Over those 90 days, my awareness exploded; I found myself observing events, nuances and inferences from situations that had previously slipped by me.  It was like looking at my life as a black and white pencil sketch, then suddenly making it a full colour photo, with the richness of the new observations filling in the colours.

#failures

Open up to a whole new world!
Image from wonderwoman.intoday.in

Is 90 days of this life change program all that is necessary?

If some is good, maybe more is better.  Why does a butcher sharpen his knives continually?  Because he needs to have them sharp all the time.  Just as our minds and our intuition need to be continually honed to work best, I find that by continuing with my life change program each day, I am both continually refreshing myself with these habits, changing any that do not serve me, and keeping focussed on my important goals.

How can you have this program in your life?

It’s as simple as downloading it here, and starting on it straight away.  The daily PEP talk tutorials are a great start to the day, and having your goal action steps in front of you first thing in the morning is an inspiration.  But nothing quite like the feeling of coming in at night and ticking off your achievements.

Download it here now and make a start.  Learn from my failures.  Don’t let this be one of yours.  Change your life from today.

If you have gained a benefit from learning about my failures and how I turned them to my benefit, please reblog and share this post with your friends, family and associates.  Share your journey with them.  Everyone deserves an opportunity to turn their failures and mistakes into golden opportunities and that’s what this is!  Pay it forward!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray Jamieson

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered by love

Empowerment through emotional intelligence

#Empowerment through emotional intelligence

Tip of the iceberg!
Image from http://www.soulseeds.com.

“In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels”
Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Many people have heard of the term “Emotional Intelligence”, made famous in a book by Daniel Goleman and now commonly called “EQ”.  We were all made familiar with “IQ”, our intellectual intelligence quotient many years ago, when intelligence testing was considered the ultimate measure of a person.  Fortunately, that has since been found to be a very small part of the story.  It’s now recognised that a person’s “IQ” is not really as important as how the person is able to utilise their “IQ”. That level of utilisation is often a measure of their “EQ”.

Let me give you an example.  I went to school with a really brainy guy.  In my own high school up to Grade 10, I was considered reasonably intelligent and won class awards in some subjects. Alongside this guy, I was a dunce!  We did a physics exam one day when I was in Grade 11 at College, and he got 65 questions right, out of a possible 66.  HE WAS FURIOUS!  The question he wasn’t marked correct on had a full stop missing!  That’s all!  But he wasn’t used to not getting everything right!

However, brilliant as he was in the science laboratory or the maths class, this is the guy who would walk out of the dormitory with his shoe laces untied, his shirt buttoned crookedly and was forever asking for someone to help him with his neck tie!  In the world outside the laboratory, the poor guy was hopeless and helpless!  I don’t know if he ever got a drivers licence, but I hope not….!

He had a very high IQ, but almost no EQ.  And that is the difference.

EQ is the ability to relate to others, to communicate effectively and to empower others.

What is empowerment?

Empowerment is the ability to influence the environment around you for the benefit of all.  Empowerment through emotional intelligence is the way you utilise your communication skills, your ability to create rapport and empathy with people, to influence outcomes and the behaviours of other people.

Let’s face it:  Personal empowerment only happens when you empower others.  You cannot be empowered in isolation.  The most powerful person on the planet is no more powerful than anyone else if they are sitting alone in a dinghy miles offshore.  Put that same person in a room with other people and their empowerment becomes evident.  Their influence is felt throughout the room.  Even if their identity remains unknown, their effect on the people around them will be felt.  That is empowerment.  But your own empowerment only happens when people around you respond positively to your behaviour and treatment of them.

#Empowerment through emotional intelligence

Empowered Couple
Image from http://www.essentialoilspedia.com.

You see the evidence of this in many places.  A loving couple together may be a formidable team, a unit of considerable influence, power and passion.  However, before their meeting and becoming a couple, either of them may have been described by their friends as lacking in confidence.  Together, they empower each other.

A political leader can be a dictator and through absolute power wield much influence.  However, the most loved leaders will often have more power and influence and especially the respect of their people, than the brutal dictator.  As a fringe benefit, they also have more job security and in retirement will be welcome anywhere in the world.

#Empowerment through emotional intelligence

Dictators from history – how many can you name?
Image from http://www.freemediaproductions.info.

An example of that would be to compare Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein or Muammar Gaddafi with Nelson Mandela.  Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein and Gaddafi were dictators, responsible over their long and brutal reigns for the deaths of thousands of people.  Their armies kept them in power, but ultimately rebellions and civil wars cost them their leadership.  They died as they lived.  Nelson Mandela had the same struggle to begin with, perhaps even harder, but when he came to power, he was loved and respected by all, and empowered other people throughout his many years as president of his country of South Africa.  When he retired, he remained the most respected elder statesman in the country.  The respect for him was global, and even the Pope sought meetings with him.  Other world leaders sought his counsel. When he passed away recently, the nation of South Africa was just one of the nations around the world mourning the passing of one of the greatest statesmen the world has ever been blessed with.

#Empowerment through emotional intelligence

An empowered leader, Nelson Mandela
Image from au.lifestyle.yahoo.com.

The same happens with us on a personal level.  We need to be empowering others, for us to become empowered people and leaders.  Empowerment does not work in a vacuum, or in isolation.  Our empowerment is measured by the degree of empowerment we give to those around us.

How do you gain empowerment through emotional intelligence?

The first part of this is understanding the power of our emotions, and the effect they have on our behaviour.  Below is the Empowerment Tone Scale Chart.  The range of human emotions is captured down the left side of the scale, from the lowest of emotions, apathy, to the highest, up above enthusiasm.  It goes much higher, but those are states not relevant here.

#Empowerment through emotional intelligence

Emotional Tone Scale.

The critical point on the scale is the red empowerment line, just above boredom.  Below this point, a person is purely reacting to stimuli, but not operating rationally.  That is not to say they are not capable of high level thinking and planning, but their thinking is not constructive.  In some form or another, it is destructive.  Above the line is where interest and constructive thinking begin, and win/win solutions and new concepts are possible.

A person in grief is way down on the scale.  In this state, the person is more introspective, turned inward.  To communicate with this person, we need to empathise with them, and find a way to reach their emotional state without entering into it ourselves.  Then we need to raise them up to the level of the Empowerment Line, even if only briefly, to get them to apply rational thinking to their situation.  That doesn’t mean they will stay there, nor should they.  There is an established grieving process that people need to complete before they can move on with life.  Empowering this person is entirely appropriate, but to try to keep that person, who is suffering with their grief, in an empowered, enthusiastic state for an extended period is denying them their grieving process and unrealistic.

#Empowerment through emotional intelligence

Comfort through grief
Image from http://www.yourdictionary.com

To raise a grieving person up to an empowered level for a time, respectful questions that require processing are needed.  Processing can only be done in an emotional state above the empowerment line. To answer the question, their mind needs to rise to the empowerment level.  Gentle questions can do this, and will rouse the person from their grief and enable them to function more rationally.

However, if the person is angry, in emotional pain or hostile, their emotions are directed outward to inflict their pain and angst on the world, to retaliate.  Much as a friendly dog will bite when cornered or in pain, the person’s behaviour is also a non-rational reaction to circumstances.

Again, gentle but firm questions that require processing will have a positive effect, although it may take a series of questions and the format is quite specific.  Questions such as:

“How can we sort this out?”

“How can we change this around?”

“How can we fix this problem?”

This format aligns the person asking the question with the person feeling the pain or anger, where formerly, they felt alone.  It also puts the source of their pain or anger or grief out as an issue independent of the person.  It identifies it as a problem that can be solved with rational thinking.  Thus the person is raised to the level of rational thinking and empowerment to deal with the issue that was formerly their millstone.  This is #empowerment through emotional intelligence – your use of your “EQ” can provide a powerful influence on anyone suffering from a lowered emotional state.

Once the emotional state begins to rise, when appropriate, offer the opportunity for some responsibility in and a share of the positive outcomes of the solutions.  Offer the hope of brightness of the future, and show them that it is their responsibility to claim it.

How important is empowerment through emotional intelligence?

Look at the vertical blue arrow in the scale.  That is the emotional region where most people live, and the majority of them are probably between boredom and hostility, tapering more towards the extremities.  In other words, most people you meet will need to be empowered BEFORE you can relate with them!  They will need a reason to think and to start a rational thought process before you can have a positive relationship with them, because that is not a normal state for them!

Can empowerment become a normal state?

Yes, absolutely, and empowerment through emotional intelligence is the pathway.  It is a learned process, and once learned and the success behaviours and actions of empowerment are formed and become habits, empowerment becomes the normal way of life.  And yes, anyone can do this.

Empowerment is not an event; it is a series of success strategies that are lived moment at a time, day by day.  It is a way of life.  You already have a way of life, a series of strategies that you live, moment at a time, day after day.  If you want empowerment in your life, some of those strategies may need to be changed.  And you can do it.

If you feel this article has empowered and benefited you and you feel it could benefit the personal empowerment of other folks you know, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates.  It might be the day you changed someone’s life for the better!  If that was that special person in your life, then congrats: you just changed your own life too!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“emotional self-awareness is the building block of the next fundamental emotional intelligence: being able to shake off a bad mood”
Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered by love