Those who can MUST! We all can!

Those who can, must!

             Miracle on the Hudson River:                     Image from nydailynews.com

“You can’t do everything but you can do something!” ― Jeff Dixon

Those who can must!

It’s a simple philosophy, but profound, as many simple philosophies are. It came to me while musing on the world and life in general when, as a teenager, I was driving a tractor and plough in seemingly endless circles on the night shift, preparing a seed bed for planting. Deep in the night, alone with my thoughts, it resonated. Forty years later, it’s still my guiding principle.  #Those who can must!

Why is it that “those who can must”?

“Those who can must” is more than a one liner. It is possibly the most powerful philosophy of all. Why is it so important that we do all we can? What does it mean? Let’s look at the first part – “those who can”.

Those who can what?

Why is it that we have skilled crafts people? Artists, architects, builders, mechanics, pilots, plumbers, lawyers, accountants, entrepreneurs; each of these is a skill-set in their own right. If a person has one of these skill sets, why is it so critical that they be the best they can at it?

Look at what “being your best” can mean.

You’re a mechanic. What difference does that make, whether you are “your best” or not? After all, you’re just servicing family cars. EXACTLY! The young mother who brings the family’s second car in for you to maintain, because the lousy, cheap skate husband has the good car with the good tyres on to drive to his work, leaving mother with the old car to transport the precious cargo of children to and from school! (Yes ladies, this is a global problem – show your husband this blog and let him have both barrels!) If you are an average mechanic, you’ll pop the hood, change the oil, check the water and let it go. If you are an excellent mechanic, being your best, you’ll be aware of the valuable cargo this vehicle carries, children – our future population – and take a closer look at the tyres, brakes, steering, suspension and even the seatbelt fittings. Because you know that when it rains again, your workmanship could be the difference between this little car spinning out of control and putting those lives at risk, or not!

Those who can, must!

Mum’s Taxi? Image from http://www.vintag.es

What about being a pilot? You became a pilot perhaps because you loved flying and decided to make a career out of it. Now, you fly commercially and may have anywhere from 5 to 500 passenger lives under your control on any flight. Only this year, we have seen two Malaysian jet air liners crash, taking nearly 300 lives each time. It‘s obvious there is a huge responsibility on airline pilots to be the best they can. Yet in the news yesterday we saw a report of an Indian pilot snoozing while in command, and the co-pilot playing on an iPad and didn’t notice that the jet had dropped 5,000 feet and put it on a collision course with other aircraft! A mid-air collision could have killed 500 people in the air and who knows how many hundreds more on the ground!

Why be the best pilot you can, even more than just staying awake? Because sometimes being the best means you could retrieve an impossible situation such as the pilot who landed a US Airways Airbus with 155 passengers on the Hudson River after a bird strike killed the engines and forcing the landing. This incredibly skilled pilot landed the huge plane on the river without loss of life and you can bet he wasn’t looking at his iPad at the time! Every second of his life’s experiences was with him, and came into play as he settled that jet airliner onto the river near the rescue boats and saved every life!

OK, so you’re not an airline pilot, you’re just a local railway worker. How important could it be, to be your best in a railway yard? If you haven’t seen it, look for the movie “Unstoppable” starring Denzel Washington. It’s about a heavily laden freight train that becomes a runaway, speeding into a heavily populated area with a very dangerous turn in the tracks, after a slack train driver is too casual about changing tracks and lets the train get away from him. Denzel’s character in real life – the film is based on an actual drama in Ohio – uses skill and imagination to find a way to stop the runaway train and avert the catastrophe that could have happened.

Everyone has something that they CAN do, but why is it that they MUST do it?

Everyone also has something they are hopeless at! It would be a wasted life if we spent it trying to do something we would continually fail at. Wasting our lives, wasting our energy, when there is someone else who is great at exactly that job we are failing at, and we are depriving them of the job they love! We have skills so that we CAN use them, for the good of our family, our community and the world in general. Imagine if Einstein continued being a children’s tutor, then a clerk all his life, instead of following his brilliance and passion into the fields of Science where he contributed so much to the world and humanity in general! He followed the ethos of “those who can must” brilliantly, and changed the way the world saw itself. He changed the future, changed the lives of you and I, a hundred years ago.

Those who can, must

He followed HIS passion! Thankfully! Image from hj.vc

When you and I follow the ethos of “Those who can must” we follow our passion and our skills into living and create lives that only WE can live. We are each unique and using our unique talents and abilities and fuelled by our passions, we can make differences like this too. Only WE can live OUR LIVES!

“Things won are done, joy’s soul lies in the doing.” ― William Shakespeare

Does “Those who can Must” apply to everyone? Who does this apply to?

This is for you and for me. Everyone can do something to contribute. Therefore, everyone must, if we are to make this world better for our children to follow on from us, to take our batons for the next leg of the Human Race.

Yes, that means you and me.

“You are responsible for doing what good you can with what you have, and any good is better than none.” ― Bryant McGill

But if you think, “I’m just a stay at home Mum”, then remember that this also applied to the parents of children such as Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci and so many more parents we never hear about. We only hear about the achievements of their children.

Maybe a police officer who notices someone loitering and feels the energy of a crime in the making apprehends them, and prevents who knows how many muggings, rapes, assaults and robberies. Perhaps they also prevent the loiterer from continuing in their dark world any further; perhaps enabling redemption from a possibly wasted life to a life well lived.

The writer who creates fictional novels, wonders how “those who can must” applies to them. Think of Wilbur Smith. Besides giving joy, peace and relaxation to millions of readers, how many people have been inspired by his writing to contribute to the conservation of the endangered ecosystems of Africa, where poaching has all but decimated the populations of elephants, rhino, lions and many other species. His writing has brought the plight of these ecosystems and many others globally to public awareness, far beyond anything he ever thought about when he first put pen to paper. How many other aspiring writers has he inspired to follow their dreams and passion to also become published authors, and reach out to millions more around the globe with their own messages of hope and inspiration?

Even the lowly blogger – if your writing changes or influences the life of just one other person and puts them back on track, then you have done your part. You don’t need to be a global superstar; one life saved is well worthwhile!

Being an unsung hero may be our life’s calling, following our passion into whatever we do. We may never know the magic we create downstream from the effects we have on the lives of the people with whom we interact, but there is no doubt the magic is there, as long as we do our part, as long as those who can must, and then do!

“Those who can must”, demands that we seek and follow our passion and skills, so that we can provide for our families, enrich our communities and make our world a better place for those who follow us! Whilst it seems huge when you examine it like this, all it really means is that we be the best we can, at whatever it is we are good at. If you don’t know what that is yet, then perhaps look at the Business Profits Program, where your skills, abilities and passions are explored for you to find your life’s calling. Perhaps you will uncover your passion and your calling there, to enable you to do what you must.

If you know what your passion is but are having trouble finding the time, discipline or motivation to follow it, then Life Change 90 is for you. Putting a structure into your day, infusing it with the inspiration, motivation and congratulations that make a day both worthwhile and enjoyable, is what you need to create positive habits that will stay with you for your lifetime.

Perhaps all you need to do is to pass the message on so that someone else can find and follow their passion. If you know someone who is searching, looking for a way to put meaning into their life, who is a square peg in a round hole at the moment, this may be your way to help them. Pass the message on; let them have the opportunity to decide, with new information, where they want their life to go. It only takes one to make it worthwhile!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

PS: We watched “Unstoppable” again this evening, on DVD. It’s one heck of a ride – treat yourself to watching it soon, to see what a difference a person can make when the chips are down!  Those who can must watch this movie!

“If your life is a miserable disaster, you might want to consider, that it’s because you are doing something wrong.” ― Bryant McGill

Recent relevant blogs:

Og Mandino – Lessons from the Master

Life Change 90 Relaunch

RISK

Empowerment through Challenge

Best Business Ideas For You

Empowered by Gratitude

Gratitude?

#Gratitude

A new day, a new start
Image from aquabumps.com

“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”
L.M. Montgomery

Did you wake up this morning?

That’s something to have gratitude for.  Many didn’t.  What does waking up each morning mean?

When you wake up each morning, or whatever time you wake up, it means you have another chance to start life all over again.  Now I know that some people are locked into a pattern which is not easy to break free of, and I’m thinking here of people in chronic pain, people who are on minimum wage and who know that finding a better paid job won’t be easy, and so many more people who have life challenges to face.

But you woke up, didn’t you?  That’s the first step towards a new life, a life change if you wish, but regardless of how you look at it, your life starts again the moment you wake up each day and that’s something to show #gratitude for.  You got another chance to start over.

What can you do with a new day?

Perhaps you can’t change everything in your life all in the next day, this new day you have given to you.  But you can change something if you need to, want to, or HAVE to!  Start small, with the single thing that will make the most difference if you change it.  A habit?  A thought?  Something you don’t do, but perhaps should?  Something, anything, but if your life is not exactly where you want it to be right now, at this time of your life, start making changes, little ones, to gently steer your life in the direction you need it to go.  Then show some gratitude, say a little “thank you” that you can do even this much.

How do you know if the change is the right one?

In a way, it doesn’t matter.  It’s the stagnation that is the death of a life.  Sometimes, any movement is better than none, but once you make a start, get some movement, you can steer from there.  It’s very hard to steer your car when it’s parked at the kerb.  You need to be moving, any direction at all, before you can steer it.  So start moving.  And show gratitude that you can actually move a little.  A little “Thank you” for the ability to move.

Gain some momentum.

Once you are moving, after your feet hit the floor, you started to move, you turned in the right direction, you got a little speed up.  Perhaps not much, but a little.  This is called momentum and there is power in momentum.  The weight of your movement, the mass of you moving along has a force.  Use it to shift other bigger things.  Point it towards obstacles, tack on another change or two and use your momentum to carry you through.  Old train drivers called this “getting up a head of steam” and there you go, you have momentum.  You are moving, steering, gaining power with your momentum and making more changes.  There’s something more to show #gratitude for, a little “thank you” for the momentum.

#Gratitude

A head of steam!
Image from burnham-on-sea.com

This is called changing your life, a step at a time.  It’s simple, but not always easy, and much depends on where you are starting from, whether at the top of the slope, or the bottom.

“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-quotes-to-change-your-momentum/#GZhkeeqdED5smDXI.99
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-quotes-to-change-your-momentum/#GZhkeeqdED5smDXI.99
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
Read more at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-quotes-to-change-your-momentum/#GZhkeeqdED5smDXI.99

Sometimes you need a hand.

Look around you.  How many people are there in your life?  How many of them do you think are feeling the same way each day, facing challenges and wondering how to make it?  There are a few, feeling just like you, and some feeling very challenged also, much more than you.  My Dad told me something that has stuck with me, when I was around 7 years of age and walking out on a frosty morning to milk the two old milking cows.  I complained about the cold frost on my boots and he said “I cried when I had no shoes, til I saw a man who had no feet!”  I didn’t realise he was quoting the old Sufi proverb but it didn’t matter.  I gladly walked down to the cow-bail, in gratitude for my boots.

There are many people who would like a hand, and many who would like to help you.  More than you realise.  Sometimes though, you need to take the first step on your own, to demonstrate to others that you are serious about the changes.

One way of making little changes that add up to a powerful momentum in a short period of time is to lock into a program that has these gentle changes built into it, and can help you decide what and when and where the most effective changes could be made.  That program also has a gratitude section in it, and without a doubt, showing gratitude for where you are already is perhaps the most powerful tool at your disposal! 

To learn more about this powerful program with the inbuilt gratitude program as well as all the other vital tools for changing your life, CLICK HERE NOW! 

You’ll be glad you did, as you watch your life change direction under your guidance, and build up a head of steam in a way that you will always want to show gratitude for!

Show some gratitude!

After all, you DID wake up this morning, didn’t you?

If you feel gratitude for the lessons I hope I have presented to your here, please reblog and share this post with your friends, family and associates.  Share your journey with them.  Everyone deserves an opportunity to look at their new day with fresh eyes and feel gratitude just for having the chance to start again, this new day.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray Jamieson

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. 
Melody Beattie

By the way, if you are looking for some inspiration on how to make the most of your new day, please also refer to my other posts below on Empowerment: There might be something of special interest for you here.

Empowered by my Failures

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered by love

Empowered by my Failures

#failures

Oprah Winfrey, a failure?
Image from erictippetts.com

Empowered by Failures

I have made mistakes.  I have had failures.  Lots of failures.  Sometimes, I did the same thing again and it still failed!  A bit like the guy betting on replays of the Melbourne Cup, just in case the favourite racehorse got up this time.  Let’s face it, some people take a while to “get it” and I’m probably one of those who need to do it the hard way.  But the hard way sometimes really cements the lessons of your #failures for you.

How was I empowered by my failures?

Let’s look at some of my failures.  I had a marriage breakdown.  Why?  Because I was busy being a guy, a provider and a worker, but not very good at being a communicator, husband or father.

What did I learn from my failures?

There are some things that need to be put first in life, and family is one of them.  Sure, I needed to provide for my family, but I needed to make sure their happiness was in place before I tried to buy “stuff” for them.  What they wanted was my love, my company, my attention, not my “stuff”!

Another of my failures was in not doing enough homework on some things before jumping in.  I was impulsive and would make decisions on the spot, because I thought that fast decision-making and “being decisive” was the way to be.  It is, but only if you know what you are talking about and making decisions on.  For everything else, do the homework!

What did I learn from my failures?

Take time.  Just like sand takes time to filter through an hourglass, so does information take time to filter through my mind.  Give it the time it needs to process the information and the homework on the question at hand, and only then, make the decision.

Many people look to successful people for how to become successful.  The wise people also look at what the #failures have to teach us.  The light bulb wasn’t invented at the first experiment.  Every failure was documented and used as a stepping stone til finally, success came, after all those failures, those learning experiences.

#failures

Thomas Edison – a prolific failure!
Image from madeinindia.net.au

There is so much that I have learnt from failures over the years.  What I learnt when sitting back, many years later, was that I had developed a process that while ever I used it, worked for me, and made life good.  When I applied my life to a certain set of principles, took notice of what my intuition was telling me and acted from my heart with integrity, life was good.

I distilled this process over time, before I began to teach it.  The first programs went to corporations and they paid huge sums of money for it.  As I taught it, I also learnt more about it and when it evolved into my first public program, “The Executive Mastermind Program”, it was an amazing program.  I delivered it in four weekend workshops over a year, with huge amounts of support in between the workshops.  That was because for information to be retained, the mind and body need to continually integrate it and that was how we did it.  Accelerated Learning was the technique, the strategy that became famous for teaching people a new language in a few days…  I harnessed Accelerated Learning and used some NLP strategies and techniques to anchor it, and the lives of many people changed.

It was limited though and I over stretched myself, trying to do too much for too many.  Another of my failures.  I pulled back and went a little off course, veering off into financial planning for a time but that was also a mistake.

What did I learn from my failures?

Stay true.  Listen to my heart and stay in integrity.  Hmmm.  Sounds familiar.  So I’m back on track now, writing and teaching, and working with my program.  It works every time.

You can have it too.  It’s a program that has a number of amazing features.  When you look at these features, you can see why it would keep me, or you, on track:

  • A daily personal empowerment program, a page of motivational pep talk on a self development topic of value.  Each month for 3 months, the topic comes back in a little more depth to enhance and reinforce the learning, teaching me all about what is important for me and how to be better at being me.
  • A priority to-do list with check boxes for completion status
  • A problem solving program and process
  • A goal setting program, with action steps towards my #1 goal each day
  • A gratitude journal, to remind me of the wonderful things I already have in my life
  • A daily affirmation, to lock in what I desire from my life
  • Learning how to be aware of what I learnt from what happened to me today
  • Recording a ‘high’ and ‘low’ point of the day, to make me aware of mood shifts and my attitude and behaviour when things in my day change
  • A cashflow program, for recording my earning and spending and increasing my financial habits awareness
  • A comment on my major achievement for the day, a little celebration
  • A journal section with topics to discuss and explore, as well as my own personal journaling on thoughts about my day.

A few minutes morning and evening is all this program takes, but when I developed the first crude version of it back in 1992, it turned my then miserable life around on a sixpence!

What did I learn from my success program, inspired by my failures?

Awareness of my personality.  I learnt that there was a lot more going on around me than I thought.  Looking at my mood shifts, I realised I was jumping between sub-personalities!  When I mastered that, it was a game-changer.

Awareness of others.  As my awareness increased, I learnt to listen to and observe others more closely.  I was no longer swept along in the tide of humanity; I was an observer, choosing with discernment where I wanted to be.

Awareness of my finances.  No more reaching for my wallet to realise I’d already spent that note I thought I had.  I became conscious of my spending and many other habits that previously I had left on auto-pilot.

Awareness of my lessons.  What good is an experience if it doesn’t teach us something?  Each day I’d record what I learnt from my successes and failures and found I was sitting on a wealth of valuable experiences, that I had been glossing over and forgetting.

Awareness of my communications.  Failure in communications is ripping the world apart and it was tearing mine apart too.  When I became aware of the power of my words, what I said to me internally, and what I said to others, I took back control of my life.

Awareness of my intuition.  Perhaps my greatest failures were from not listening to my intuition screaming at me at critical moments.  Learning to discern between negative mind chatter and genuine intuitive processing and inspiration has possibly been the most powerful of all for me.  Intuition taps into a global network of incredible resources, information and a wealth of ideas and inspiration that a single human mind could not process, but it can access it!  The greatest minds have acknowledged it – Einstein and the American Founding Fathers to name a few.  Allowing the messages to come to me and recognising their value has been phenomenal – and averted many failures too!

How can you gain empowerment from my failures?

This program is available to you also.  The work of putting it together has been done.  Now you can download it and plug it into your life.  In a few minutes, morning and evening, you can start to change your life too!  I found that over a 90 day period, I experienced life changing results from the habits I broke or changed and the new habits I formed and integrated into my life.  Over those 90 days, my awareness exploded; I found myself observing events, nuances and inferences from situations that had previously slipped by me.  It was like looking at my life as a black and white pencil sketch, then suddenly making it a full colour photo, with the richness of the new observations filling in the colours.

#failures

Open up to a whole new world!
Image from wonderwoman.intoday.in

Is 90 days of this life change program all that is necessary?

If some is good, maybe more is better.  Why does a butcher sharpen his knives continually?  Because he needs to have them sharp all the time.  Just as our minds and our intuition need to be continually honed to work best, I find that by continuing with my life change program each day, I am both continually refreshing myself with these habits, changing any that do not serve me, and keeping focussed on my important goals.

How can you have this program in your life?

It’s as simple as downloading it here, and starting on it straight away.  The daily PEP talk tutorials are a great start to the day, and having your goal action steps in front of you first thing in the morning is an inspiration.  But nothing quite like the feeling of coming in at night and ticking off your achievements.

Download it here now and make a start.  Learn from my failures.  Don’t let this be one of yours.  Change your life from today.

If you have gained a benefit from learning about my failures and how I turned them to my benefit, please reblog and share this post with your friends, family and associates.  Share your journey with them.  Everyone deserves an opportunity to turn their failures and mistakes into golden opportunities and that’s what this is!  Pay it forward!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray Jamieson

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered by love

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

#Integrity

Integrity – it speaks for itself.
Courtesy of life-of-integrity.com

Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment

“I believe in integrity. Dogs have it. Humans are sometimes lacking it.”Cesar Millan

Spirituality came to me later in life.  Growing up in the bush, my exposure to topics other than beef cattle, crops and sheep was a little limited because of the isolation.  Although an avid reader, it was a subject that I didn’t know existed as a topic.

It was in my thirties, after a series of life changing events, losing my family, my farm and business and some health challenges, and I was laid low for a year.  I relocated to the city and because of my interest in business, became a member of the Institute of Management.  This gave me access to an amazing library!

I gravitated to a section I had never heard of, with authors whose names were totally unfamiliar, but who I grew to love and respect.  Og Mandino, Jim Rohn, Blair Singer, Robert Kiyosaki and many, many more.  I later had the good fortune to see, hear and work with many of these great people.

#Integrity

Og Mandino
Image from conqueryourlife.net

Og Mandino spoke in Brisbane just a couple of years before his passing.  He followed another speaker whose name ironically I do not recall, a high-powered, hard charging success coach type.  He marched about the stage and put on quite a theatrical performance. When he finished, the audience was abuzz with energy and chatter.

Then Og Mandino entered.  An elderly man, he sat on a chair just a little to one side of centre stage.  He spoke softly, quietly.  There was not another sound in the hall.  It was as though eighteen thousand people held their breath for an hour to be sure they never missed a word.  At the end of his talk, we stood as one and applauded.  The elderly man rose, bowed a number of times, and finally walked off stage.  We continued clapping.  Then the hall suddenly went quiet, as we understood we had been in the presence of greatness.

This quietly spoken man held the audience, not with his performance, but with his heart, his #integrity.

“Integrity has no need of rules.”Albert Camus

Jim Rohn was another who I had the privilege to meet and listen to a number of times.  I first found Jim in the audio cassette section of the business department of the AIM Library, and devoured everything I could find by him.  Jim was also a quietly spoken man, a small framed man but a giant among people.  I attended a weekend workshop with him and had the honour of meeting and speaking with him personally a number of times.  I told him my own story one lunchtime and how he had influenced my life.  Later he repeated my story on stage, to show how it is possible to influence someone to change their life and aim higher, with just your words and your integrity.  Sadly, Jim has also passed on.

#Integrity

Jim Rohn
Image from thatgirlamala.wordpress.com

Through Jim Rohn’s influence, I was encouraged to continue my personal development.  I met Blair Singer at a powerful spiritual seminar in Brisbane.  Blair was different again, a tiny man with a huge heart.  His words and presentations gave me the framework for the life I chose, after drifting without purpose for a number of years since losing the farm and my family.  There was never a question from that time, after seeing Blair’s presentation and how it moved people, as to what direction my life would take from then on.

#Integrity

Blair Singer
Image from http://www.erhardruettimann.com

My public speaking journey brought me into contact with other people who had also chosen the stage and limelight to spread their message to the world.  I was fortunate that I had learnt first about integrity in speaking from the masters of the stage, before I found the charlatans, and there are many of them.

“A mode of conduct, a standard of courage, discipline, fortitude and integrity can do a great deal to make a woman beautiful.”  ― Jacqueline Bisset

The title of this blog is Integrity, Spirituality and Empowerment. 

So many people preach spirituality and empowerment, yet their message is lost in the confusion of their energies.

I attended a seminar in Brisbane by a guy who has since been listed as having a wealth of over 200 million dollars, but at the time was facing bankruptcy.  At that seminar, people were leaving front row seats to stand at the back of the hall, to get away from his ego and energy, without actually leaving the room.  His presentation was about how we should pay him huge sums of money to attend his courses and buy a franchise from him, as they had made him so successful.  Because his presentation was so slick, many people did invest.  By investing the sale proceeds from his overpriced franchises, he was able to turn a bad situation into a personal fortune.  Yet, he has a trail of disenchanted clients all around the world.  He has been sued for sums of money the average person could only dream about, but has kept enough of his fortunes tied up in offshore havens away from the reach of the courts to live happily ever after.

#integrity

Not so sure about this guy…!
Image from oilersnation.com

Another very popular presenter is famous for his NLP workshops.  NLP is a great modality and has powerful applications and value for personal change.  However, hypnotism is also a branch of NLP studies.  Where are the ethics and integrity of getting 3,000 people in a conference room and applying Ericksonian hypnosis (hypnosis by voice modulation and conversational techniques) while promoting your range of “advanced workshops”, some costing thousands of dollars each!

“There is no such thing as a minor lapse of integrity” Tom Peters

There are many charlatans masquerading as spiritual gurus.  Their message is supposedly about spirituality and empowerment.  They have a few nice talks they put together after reading people such as Jim Rohn and Og Mandino.  Their true focus is on taking money from your wallet, through expensive, slickly marketed seminars on idyllic island or luxury resorts, or seminars dressed up as business opportunities to become a life coach or invest in property with them.

It’s interesting that many of the big names in public speaking and the spiritual and financial gurus seem to have a public life that is very short, punctuated by lawsuits and claims of fraud.  Many have paid the price with time spent behind bars for their promotions, but many more still circulate and take easy pickings when they can.

Integrity is simple, but not easy.

Integrity is the province of people with a genuine focus on empowering others to be better at being themselves, and having better lives.  As soon as someone starts spruiking island resorts for their workshops and personal coaching at thousands of dollars per HOUR, or admittance to their “inner circle” of clients, I know that integrity has left the room, in disgust.

Yes, a nice hotel is great to present a workshop to a lot of people at once.  However, the workshop and message should be the focus.  If it is, it won’t need the added attraction of duty-free shopping to get people there.  Price it so that everyone can afford it, not just those with personal fortunes to draw on.

Empowering those who need it most, the people who did not get the great start in life, the people who still work on the minimum wage, the people whose lives have been visited by challenges and who could never aspire to spend thousands of dollars on a weekend listening to a guru, this is where spiritual integrity begins.

Those of us who have a message from Spirit do not own the message!

We are merely the conduit for the message.  Spirit doesn’t mind us charging a fee for it if we are making it our life’s work.  Claiming ownership and charging huge fees that lock away the message away from all but the most privileged is hardly in integrity.

How can you be spiritual, empowered and in integrity?

It’s a personal thing.  It’s about taking personal responsibility and being discerning with who you listen to, and what goes into your mind.  Filter the rubbish, embrace the wisdom.

It’s about picking up the lessons and habits that have been proven over decades, centuries even, to work and to always work.  It’s about integrating them into your life.

It’s about having your own daily personal empowerment program that instills the right success habits, the best subconscious programs and giving you the most powerful tools for personally improving your situation, at your own speed, and being with you all the way through.

It is about becoming personally empowered and building integrity into the environment around you and in your life, which will enable you to create your own success, wealth, and abundance, without making someone else wealthy at your expense.  It’s not about giving your power away to a guru you may never meet, or their disciples, centuries after their passing.  It’s certainly not about giving your power away to any religious leader or doctrine.

It IS about taking responsibility for becoming everything you COULD be, and sharing your own personal, spirit given gifts with the world.  If it becomes your calling to make a career out of your gift, whether it’s Reiki, readings or channelling, then spirit will guide you to where you need to be, and show you how to make that work for you with integrity and bring you the mentors you need – as long as you are willing to accept the challenge.  It’s not something you can half do.

Responsibility is total – you need to be personally prepared for it and a Personal Empowerment Program is what it will take, to lift your energy, intention and ability to where it needs to be.  And if you think you are already prepared, ask yourself why a butcher keeps sharpening his knife….  Yes.  You need to stay sharp too!

Your personal empowerment program – your own pep talk every day!

If you feel this article has empowered and benefited you and you feel it could benefit the personal empowerment, integrity and spiritual development of other people you know, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates.  It might be the day you changed someone’s life for the better!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

#Integrity

Jim Rohn as I knew him
Image from mlmtraffictactics.com

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered by love

Prayer For Change

#prayer for change

Prayers count, no matter who prays!
Image from http://www.atotheword.com

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
Bernard M. Baruch

A Prayer for Change

While looking at my blog today, I chanced upon a section of the dashboard I hadn’t noticed before.  It showed the search terms people had used most to find my blog online.  It shocked me to realise what it meant.

The two top terms were:

  1. Prayer for change in my life

  2. Empowered Person

If ever there was a cry for help, both these terms are screaming it from the rooftops! #Prayer for change and seeking empowerment!

For two decades I have delivered life changing workshops and seminars all over my country on exactly these topics, and the cry has been the same:

“I expected more out of life than this, by now!”

#prayer for change

I expected more out of life than this, by now!
Image from http://www.sott.net

I have heard it from teenagers, from young disillusioned couples, from parents with teenage kids, and from retirees, who were struggling still, after a lifetime of struggle.  A prayer for change, if ever there was one!

When we were in school, we were told, and probably you were too:  “Study hard, get good grades, get a good job and have a good life!”  Well, these people all followed those directions and by the time they came to my workshops, that is how they felt – ripped off!  It was a lie, and they had fallen for it!  And now, they have this prayer for change!

There’s nothing wrong with having a good education and getting a good job.  However, that’s not it – that’s just the start!  Your education continues and it’s a lifelong program you are enrolled in!  The school of life is never on holidays – it always has something to teach you!  The question is – are you ready, willing and able to learn?

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
Oscar Wilde

For those people truly desiring change and empowerment, we have provided the Life Change 90 Program.

For those people searching for a prayer for change, here is mine – click on this link for the whole blog:

Today, My Perfect Day

A day that I could begin by being of service to another, to start their day also with inspiration and love.

A day when I could plan and begin projects – dreams that could take all of my tomorrows to complete.

A day I would live as though it was my last, as though there would be no tomorrow.

A day when I would play the games I play to the limit,

To laugh as hard as I can,

To love as passionately as I am able,

To work and achieve to my capacity,

yet with time to rest and relax with my loved ones

until we are full of the love we have for one another.

A day when there is time to reflect,

To consider those whose fortunes have not yet been realised, as mine have,

To pray that they may be realised – soon.

A day which closes with a Prayer of Thanks to the Great Spirit and all the guides I have,

for watching over me through this day,

and to ask them to guide me through the next,

so that again someone might say:

“I’m glad that you came by!”

© Ray Jamieson 1993

#prayer for change

A pot of gold, after all?
Image from wordlesstech.com

For those searching for Empowerment, there is a whole series of empowerment blogs for you, everything from Financial Empowerment, to Empowerment for Men, Women, Children and Teens, and explanations on what Empowerment means and how to gain it!  The full list is below.

Thank you for your searches, and thank you for looking to Life Change 90 and our program for the answers to your prayer for change, and for your personal empowerment, in whatever form you desire it.  I hope we have helped you and you know that we will continue with our aims to empower many more people, in times to come.

If you feel this article has empowered and benefited you and you feel it could benefit the personal empowerment of other folks you know, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates.  It might be the day you changed someone’s life for the better!  If that was that special person in your life, then congrats: you just changed your own life too!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails, and I hope your prayer for change is answered!

Ray Jamieson

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered by love

Empowerment through emotional intelligence

#Empowerment through emotional intelligence

Tip of the iceberg!
Image from http://www.soulseeds.com.

“In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels”
Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Many people have heard of the term “Emotional Intelligence”, made famous in a book by Daniel Goleman and now commonly called “EQ”.  We were all made familiar with “IQ”, our intellectual intelligence quotient many years ago, when intelligence testing was considered the ultimate measure of a person.  Fortunately, that has since been found to be a very small part of the story.  It’s now recognised that a person’s “IQ” is not really as important as how the person is able to utilise their “IQ”. That level of utilisation is often a measure of their “EQ”.

Let me give you an example.  I went to school with a really brainy guy.  In my own high school up to Grade 10, I was considered reasonably intelligent and won class awards in some subjects. Alongside this guy, I was a dunce!  We did a physics exam one day when I was in Grade 11 at College, and he got 65 questions right, out of a possible 66.  HE WAS FURIOUS!  The question he wasn’t marked correct on had a full stop missing!  That’s all!  But he wasn’t used to not getting everything right!

However, brilliant as he was in the science laboratory or the maths class, this is the guy who would walk out of the dormitory with his shoe laces untied, his shirt buttoned crookedly and was forever asking for someone to help him with his neck tie!  In the world outside the laboratory, the poor guy was hopeless and helpless!  I don’t know if he ever got a drivers licence, but I hope not….!

He had a very high IQ, but almost no EQ.  And that is the difference.

EQ is the ability to relate to others, to communicate effectively and to empower others.

What is empowerment?

Empowerment is the ability to influence the environment around you for the benefit of all.  Empowerment through emotional intelligence is the way you utilise your communication skills, your ability to create rapport and empathy with people, to influence outcomes and the behaviours of other people.

Let’s face it:  Personal empowerment only happens when you empower others.  You cannot be empowered in isolation.  The most powerful person on the planet is no more powerful than anyone else if they are sitting alone in a dinghy miles offshore.  Put that same person in a room with other people and their empowerment becomes evident.  Their influence is felt throughout the room.  Even if their identity remains unknown, their effect on the people around them will be felt.  That is empowerment.  But your own empowerment only happens when people around you respond positively to your behaviour and treatment of them.

#Empowerment through emotional intelligence

Empowered Couple
Image from http://www.essentialoilspedia.com.

You see the evidence of this in many places.  A loving couple together may be a formidable team, a unit of considerable influence, power and passion.  However, before their meeting and becoming a couple, either of them may have been described by their friends as lacking in confidence.  Together, they empower each other.

A political leader can be a dictator and through absolute power wield much influence.  However, the most loved leaders will often have more power and influence and especially the respect of their people, than the brutal dictator.  As a fringe benefit, they also have more job security and in retirement will be welcome anywhere in the world.

#Empowerment through emotional intelligence

Dictators from history – how many can you name?
Image from http://www.freemediaproductions.info.

An example of that would be to compare Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein or Muammar Gaddafi with Nelson Mandela.  Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein and Gaddafi were dictators, responsible over their long and brutal reigns for the deaths of thousands of people.  Their armies kept them in power, but ultimately rebellions and civil wars cost them their leadership.  They died as they lived.  Nelson Mandela had the same struggle to begin with, perhaps even harder, but when he came to power, he was loved and respected by all, and empowered other people throughout his many years as president of his country of South Africa.  When he retired, he remained the most respected elder statesman in the country.  The respect for him was global, and even the Pope sought meetings with him.  Other world leaders sought his counsel. When he passed away recently, the nation of South Africa was just one of the nations around the world mourning the passing of one of the greatest statesmen the world has ever been blessed with.

#Empowerment through emotional intelligence

An empowered leader, Nelson Mandela
Image from au.lifestyle.yahoo.com.

The same happens with us on a personal level.  We need to be empowering others, for us to become empowered people and leaders.  Empowerment does not work in a vacuum, or in isolation.  Our empowerment is measured by the degree of empowerment we give to those around us.

How do you gain empowerment through emotional intelligence?

The first part of this is understanding the power of our emotions, and the effect they have on our behaviour.  Below is the Empowerment Tone Scale Chart.  The range of human emotions is captured down the left side of the scale, from the lowest of emotions, apathy, to the highest, up above enthusiasm.  It goes much higher, but those are states not relevant here.

#Empowerment through emotional intelligence

Emotional Tone Scale.

The critical point on the scale is the red empowerment line, just above boredom.  Below this point, a person is purely reacting to stimuli, but not operating rationally.  That is not to say they are not capable of high level thinking and planning, but their thinking is not constructive.  In some form or another, it is destructive.  Above the line is where interest and constructive thinking begin, and win/win solutions and new concepts are possible.

A person in grief is way down on the scale.  In this state, the person is more introspective, turned inward.  To communicate with this person, we need to empathise with them, and find a way to reach their emotional state without entering into it ourselves.  Then we need to raise them up to the level of the Empowerment Line, even if only briefly, to get them to apply rational thinking to their situation.  That doesn’t mean they will stay there, nor should they.  There is an established grieving process that people need to complete before they can move on with life.  Empowering this person is entirely appropriate, but to try to keep that person, who is suffering with their grief, in an empowered, enthusiastic state for an extended period is denying them their grieving process and unrealistic.

#Empowerment through emotional intelligence

Comfort through grief
Image from http://www.yourdictionary.com

To raise a grieving person up to an empowered level for a time, respectful questions that require processing are needed.  Processing can only be done in an emotional state above the empowerment line. To answer the question, their mind needs to rise to the empowerment level.  Gentle questions can do this, and will rouse the person from their grief and enable them to function more rationally.

However, if the person is angry, in emotional pain or hostile, their emotions are directed outward to inflict their pain and angst on the world, to retaliate.  Much as a friendly dog will bite when cornered or in pain, the person’s behaviour is also a non-rational reaction to circumstances.

Again, gentle but firm questions that require processing will have a positive effect, although it may take a series of questions and the format is quite specific.  Questions such as:

“How can we sort this out?”

“How can we change this around?”

“How can we fix this problem?”

This format aligns the person asking the question with the person feeling the pain or anger, where formerly, they felt alone.  It also puts the source of their pain or anger or grief out as an issue independent of the person.  It identifies it as a problem that can be solved with rational thinking.  Thus the person is raised to the level of rational thinking and empowerment to deal with the issue that was formerly their millstone.  This is #empowerment through emotional intelligence – your use of your “EQ” can provide a powerful influence on anyone suffering from a lowered emotional state.

Once the emotional state begins to rise, when appropriate, offer the opportunity for some responsibility in and a share of the positive outcomes of the solutions.  Offer the hope of brightness of the future, and show them that it is their responsibility to claim it.

How important is empowerment through emotional intelligence?

Look at the vertical blue arrow in the scale.  That is the emotional region where most people live, and the majority of them are probably between boredom and hostility, tapering more towards the extremities.  In other words, most people you meet will need to be empowered BEFORE you can relate with them!  They will need a reason to think and to start a rational thought process before you can have a positive relationship with them, because that is not a normal state for them!

Can empowerment become a normal state?

Yes, absolutely, and empowerment through emotional intelligence is the pathway.  It is a learned process, and once learned and the success behaviours and actions of empowerment are formed and become habits, empowerment becomes the normal way of life.  And yes, anyone can do this.

Empowerment is not an event; it is a series of success strategies that are lived moment at a time, day by day.  It is a way of life.  You already have a way of life, a series of strategies that you live, moment at a time, day after day.  If you want empowerment in your life, some of those strategies may need to be changed.  And you can do it.

If you feel this article has empowered and benefited you and you feel it could benefit the personal empowerment of other folks you know, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates.  It might be the day you changed someone’s life for the better!  If that was that special person in your life, then congrats: you just changed your own life too!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“emotional self-awareness is the building block of the next fundamental emotional intelligence: being able to shake off a bad mood”
Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowered by love

What would an empowered man do?

#What would an empowered man do

Empowered Man
Image from theredlist.fr

“The only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it and the faith to believe it is possible.”
Rich DeVos

What would an empowered man do?

It’s easy to preach.  It’s easy to lecture.  It’s harder to live what you preach and lecture about.  It’s especially hard when Spirit or fate or the Gods on high decide to confront you with a problem straight out of the box you were preaching from!

The question is, when something like this happens, #what would an empowered man do?

Now, an empowered man here refers to empowered women, children, teens, civic leaders, politicians, and anyone else you can think of.  It’s all of us, and I’m lumping us together under the term ‘man’.

The guy (or girl) comes home, tired and well and truly over the day, it’s been a tough one.  Their partner is frustrated as their day was tough too, the kids are noisy, but they just want to sit with a beer or wine and relax, let the day go and when they feel like it, come join the family.  But the kids want to play, their partner wants a hand in the kitchen, stuff is happening all around and this is not a time when they can opt out for a while.

#What would an empowered man do

Home at last!
Image from http://www.huffingtonpost.com

What would an empowered man do?

The question really should come back to “what is important in this life?” and start from there.  Attend to the first priorities and work outwards from there, once they have been attended to.

First priority?  There’s their partner standing there, tired and very frustrated with their day also.  This person committed to spend their life with them, and share the joys and hassles of their family forever.  WOW!  Number one priority?

What would an empowered man do?  He would kiss this lady, tell her he loved her and block the world out for a while.  There’s a book called “The ten second kiss” that I have referred to in my seminars and it suggests that night and morning, and leaving for work and coming home from work is a powerful time for it, that you should kiss your spouse or partner for at least ten seconds.  At least twice a day, at those important times.

Why?  Because when you kiss someone for ten seconds with your full intention and attention on your kissing, it speaks volumes to them about your love for them, and it does them a world of good too.  Things like easing tension, frustration and giving the feeling to them that they are loved and supported in every way.  Sort of an antidote to a tiring and frustrating day.

What about the dinner on the stove?  What about the kids?  What about all the other distractions?

Take the pot off the heat – it’s only for 10 seconds!  Get the kids to time you – this is a powerful way for them to see and experience what love between their parents is and should be.  There is not much that cannot be put off for just ten seconds!

#What would an empowered man do

A great daily ritual
Image from karapearson.com

OK, that’s Priority 1 done.  Priority 2 should be a hug for the kids.  Big hug, acknowledgement for a moment, so they feel the love too, and it’s amazing how often that is enough for them for a time.  Time to enable you to handle the other issues that are demanding attention.  Perhaps you can be with the kids in a family way.  Grab a coffee or tea, sit with your spouse and children on the couch for a few minutes, have a family hug, right after your ten second kiss.  Take a few more minutes with all of you together, sharing your days.  Ask your spouse about their day, their ups and downs.  The same with the children, asking questions gets them present and takes their mind off concerns that drag energies down.  That also allows you to catch up on the urgent news and to plan the next few minutes of dealing with the other issues, such as the dinner that’s cooking, the chores to be done, homework and so on.

What would an empowered man do?  He’d first attend to his family and be nurtured by them, while he empowers them with his love and attention.  He’d make this a daily ritual.

Another scenario.  The empowered man (or woman) is at work and the boss yells at them, bawling them out over something, whether it’s valid or not.  The boss is a chump, loud mouthed and obnoxious.  The first reaction is to make a batch of ‘nose jam’ and spread it all over his face.

#What would an empowered man do

Not again!
Image from http://www.mccormicksys.com

What would an empowered man do?

First, is it OK to get angry?  Yes, and it’s natural to get angry at times.  The human body and most other species become angry if provoked.  It’s what happens next that matters.

We established a few blogs back that you cannot win an argument.  We learnt in another blog about how to empower people when they are angry or fearful, so that you can work with them rationally and come to a good resolution.

This image is the Empowerment Tone Scale.

#What would an empowered man do

Empowerment Tone Scale

(Click on this image to enlarge it)

The angry person is down under the empowerment line.  The fearful or grieving person is lower still, near the bottom.  To relate with these people, you need to boost them and their emotional state up to the empowerment level at “interest”, near the top, even if only for a few seconds!  You do that with targeted questions, relevant to the topic, but ones they need to process a little.  That processing is the key to empowerment.  This is because for the mind to process a question, it needs to be in a constructive state, not destructive.  Asking a question raises the person’s emotional state.  It empowers the person you are asking the question of.

Back to our angry boss.  What would an empowered man do?

They would engage the boss with simple, relevant questions to establish the parameters of the situation.  They would go on to ask about the specifics.  Then they would ask the most powerful question framework “WHAT can WE do about THIS PROBLEM?”  This establishes the conflict as an issue separate to either of them, but a problem they can solve as a team.  A totally different scenario to when the boss walked in.

#What would an empowered man do

That’s better! All sorted now!
Image from http://www.act-now.ca

Does it work every time?  Of course not.  But it’s what an empowered person would do first, rather than inflame the issue with retaliation.

Of course, launching into strategies such as these without a reference point in place is going to be a challenge.  For some men, if they arrived home and without warning, took their wife and kissed her solidly for more than a few seconds, it would either frighten them or make them very suspicious.  After reading this blog, discuss it with your partner and adopt this practice of the ten second kiss morning and evening.  Make the family hug a ritual.  You’ll probably find it changes other areas of your life too.

With your boss, don’t wait until he’s furious before you try to empower him.  Use simple but relevant questions all the time to build his level of empowerment and you’ll find he is much less likely to explode if and when something does go wrong.  And at that time, he’ll respond better when you ask more questions, because you have conditioned the situation already.  It won’t be anything new!

What would an empowered man do, to become more empowered in the first place?  

How do you get to BE this way, without needing to re-read this blog when life serves you a rotten tomato?

Empowerment is not hard.  It’s simple, it’s strategic and it’s constant.  Constant implementing of daily success habits, morning and evening, practicing throughout the day and celebrating your successes at night.  It’s challenging yourself to be the best you can, and recording your efforts to be your best.  It’s dropping unproductive habits and replacing them with success habits that step you closer to your own goals every day.  It’s putting yourself in a state of mind that is empowered by the environment you create around you.  It’s choosing the people you associate with, the information and influences that go into your mind and surround you in your life.  One tiny step at a time, all the time.  It’s simple, and it’s constant.

After a while, it becomes a habit and is the state of mind you unconsciously life in.

During the learning process, we pass through four stages of competency.  They are:

  1. Unconsciously incompetent – we don’t even know we are messing things up!
  2. Consciously incompetent – we know how bad we are at this new thing.
  3. Consciously competent – we know what to do but still need to focus to get it right.
  4. Unconsciously competent – it’s become a good, solid habit; no need to even think about it anymore; we do it unconsciously and get it right every time!

After a while, these new success habits that we practice daily, morning and evening, become a part of our subconscious program and we do them without thinking.  We LIVE them.

What would an empowered man do

Words of a wise and empowered man
Image from wolflaguerra.wordpress.com

What would an empowered man do?  Subscribe to this program and share it amongst his family, friends and workmates, to empower them too…

If you feel this article has empowered and benefited you and you feel it could benefit the personal empowerment of other folks you know, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates.  It might be the day you changed someone’s life for the better!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“Freedom begins the moment you realize someone else has been writing your story and it’s time you took the pen from his hand and started writing it yourself.”
Bill Moyers

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

Personal Empowerment

Personal Empowerment

Personal Empowerment – starting young!
Image from http://www.huffingtonpost.com

Personal Empowerment.

asinha97
You are responsible for your life. So why expect something to happen for motivation. Self motivation is biggest drive for self empowerment. Anil Sinha

I recently sat with a man who had asked me to write his biography, his journey from weighing 350 pounds (160 kilograms) back to 200 pounds (90 kg).  After he told me his story, I had a question for him.  First, here is his story, briefly.

He had told me that as he grew fatter, just from being a glutton and careless, he grew too big to do his ceiling insulation batt business – he couldn’t fit through the manholes into the ceiling cavity, so he sold that business and bought a security patrol business.  Then he couldn’t get in and out of the patrol cars because of his rapidly expanding girth, so he sold that business too.  Eventually he began selling real estate in a city office because all he had to do was stand (or sit) near the front door where people would walk by, and he could talk to them.

Personal Empowerment

Something wrong with this picture
Image from nypost.com

However, the life changing chain of events for him began with the bicycle shop next door.  Sometimes he’d stand at his front door and chat to the owner of the bicycle shop, a former triathlete champion, and one day he asked him if he could try riding a bike, as he thought he might like to lose some weight.  Just making conversation.  The reply was that he didn’t stock a bike that would hold his weight!

Then he needed to run to the back of his shop again to the toilet, for the fifth time that hour, and the bicycle shop owner told him he needed to get ‘that’ checked out.  He already knew what his problem was.  The doctor told him after a few short minutes “You have chronic diabetes caused by your eating habits.  If you don’t lose 100 pounds this year, you won’t see next year!”  It scared him; he said those words felt like machine gun fire into his chest!

My question to him was: “If that doctor had not threatened you with your own death, at what point would you have decided you were overweight and needed to do something about it?”

His answer?  “I don’t know.  I never considered it!  I don’t know what it would have taken to have that amount of personal empowerment, to recognise my problem and deal with it!”

Personal empowerment is not a big deal.

Personal Empowerment

A whale of a time!
Image from selfimprovementdevelopment.com

My definition for personal empowerment is the willingness to honestly see yourself as you are, and to commit to making any changes you feel are necessary for your wellbeing, on any level, physical, mental, emotional or spiritual.

That just means that if you know you are not fit, you decide to change that and you do what you need to do, to become more fit.  If you have bad breath, you brush your teeth.  If someone tells you that your breath is bad, you don’t abuse them for being rude to you; you thank them for being honest with you and then you brush your teeth.

Being less than you can be, less than your human potential is a crime against yourself.  That doesn’t mean that you need to be training to be fit enough to run the next marathon.  It doesn’t mean you need to immediately begin to diet, or take any other radical steps.  It has nothing to do with vanity, and everything to do with your personal pride.  Look honestly at yourself. Ask yourself if you are the person you always wanted to be. If you can see how you can become closer to that ideal, then you need the strength to commit to making the changes that will get you there.

OK, I hear some howls of protest!  Personal empowerment?  I’m suffering from a chronic illness, I can’t do that!  I was in a car accident and my injuries won’t allow that!  I am overweight because I have a medical condition and the drugs affect me!

Relax.  The question is; are you being all you can be?  If you are ill, then you are ill and that will place limitations on you physically.  But how is your heart?  How is your spirit?  How is your mind?

Personal empowerment will take you from where you are in your life, to where you could be.  It’s not about being fitter, faster, smarter or better than anyone else, just being the best YOU that you could be.  Sometimes, personal empowerment is just being the best parent you can be, so that you can be an empowered parent for your children.  What this world needs probably most of all, is empowered people, who can be empowered parents, so that the next generation who are our children now can take over this world and continue to make it better and fix the mistakes we have made in getting it to them.

Personal empowerment is worth it.

But how do you get personal empowerment?

Personal Empowerment

It’s the little things that count!
Image from mylifeismymessage.org

It’s easy.  Baby steps each day.  It’s not a massive shift, it’s just a few little success habits to get into each day, and then continue to do them every day!  Not hard at all.  You already have a number of habits right now, perhaps some that don’t serve you that you could replace, others that you definitely want to maintain.  Like brushing your teeth.  But add some affirmations and goalsetting to that.  Perhaps doing a few minutes reading of something positive each morning and evening – just a few minutes.  Perhaps setting priorities for your day, specific things that will actually advance you a little closer to your goals.  Perhaps at the end of the day, doing a review and seeing what you achieved, what you learned, what you felt, and checking off what you actually did.  If you started a new habit, check off that you did it, or didn’t – make yourself accountable.

Get into success habits.  Start feeling a sense of achievement for the little things, so that when the big things come up and real personal empowerment is needed to face those challenges, you have already been practising, you have the success habits in place, all you are doing is changing the goal……!  See?  Simple.

That is personal empowerment.  A program with all of this exists now for you to slip into your daily routine; you can get it here.  A few minutes morning and evening and it is done.

The bonus is that it teaches you lots of other cool strategies as well, such as communication skills, financial success tips, stress management and health tips, mental strategies, conflict resolution, goal setting and a whole heap more over the 90 days of the program.  That’s the few minutes of positive and empowered reading material, a couple of hundred words a day to get you on track with life changing strategies in every area of your life.  Personal empowerment was never so easy!  Start your personal empowerment program now!

If you feel this article has empowered and benefited you and you feel it could benefit the personal empowerment of other folks you know, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates.  It might be the day you changed someone’s life for the better!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

Be ambitious towards your own personal enhancement.  Steve Mariboli

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowerment for Children

#Empowerment for Children

Happy, learning children
Image from http://www.cumc.com

#Empowerment for Children

In Empowerment for Teens, we saw that the way children are raised has a huge effect on their behaviour as teens and then young adults.  This is found in the most basic of human instincts, the instinct of survival, one of the few a baby is born with, and is very relevant in Empowerment for Children

To survive, a human being is programmed to do whatever it must.  As a baby has little conscious thought capability at birth, everything is trial, error and instinct.  Babies rely on mothers for feeding, nurturing, protection and survival.  Therefore keeping mother close is a survival instinct.  To do this, some babies cry, some laugh, some are cute and coy, some are funny little clowns.  All are survival strategies initially; the range of survival strategies expands as the baby grows.

A toddler cry baby doesn’t get much sympathy.  However, the baby can learn that a certain laugh, or a certain funny behaviour can get mother’s attention, so that becomes a strategy.  This might be the start of the ‘clown’ survival strategy.  Robin Williams claims this was his way of surviving school, where the bigger boys bullied him until he told jokes!  Now, it is his career!

With most young animals in a nest, if there is competition for food, the bully always wins.  The same with human babies – the instinct is to get in first and get the food to survive.  A bigger or more boisterous baby may become a bully as a survival strategy amongst smaller siblings.  A smaller one may realise that direct action against a bully would not work, but being sneaky and agile might – monkey like antics might become the survival strategy, or outright stealth, guile and theft.  Just as a survival strategy.

#Empowerment for Children

Feeding time – who’s going to get it?
Image from commons.wikimedia.org

However, we see these same strategies employed in adults!  This is because these survival strategies become embedded as “sub-personalities” in the mind and psyche of the child and remain embedded as the child grows up.  At one time they were all relevant as survival strategies; now, as adults many are redundant, but they remain.

How are sub-personalities relevant to empowerment for children?

The baby we first looked at is developing sub-personalities as it grows older, in order to survive.  The empowered child, the well balanced and happy child will confidently move between sub-personalities almost unconsciously, provided we create and foster a supportive environment around them, making it safe for them to grow, explore and experience the world.

How do we make empowerment for children possible?

As parents, it is our responsibility to create the most supportive environment for our children to grow up in.  The best way to do that is for us to be fully empowered personally first – being the best parents and teachers we can be, for them to model as they grow.  Empowerment for Children comes after their parents learn empowerment for women and empowerment for men!

Children do not do as they are taught.  Children do as they are shown by example and that is why they model older children, rather than anonymous characters from text books!  As parents, we need to demonstrate what we want children to learn, and provide the environment where this learning is possible!

Enlightened educationalists will tell us that children learn best in a happy environment where they can experience what they are learning about.  Experiential learning has become a buzz word but really, children have been doing it for thousands of generations, learning through their childhood games.  We need to ensure those childhood games are possible, safe and that we can participate in them to the extent we need to, so that we can give guidance as and when the children need it.

#Empowerment for Children

Learning by playing
Image from lindaoconnell.blogspot.com

The best way for empowerment for children to be experienced is by parents reading to children.  If you have ever seen the rapt look on a child’s face as they explore a picture book with Mummy or Daddy, and the innocent questions that come from it, you will understand.  As the child grows, reading more mature story books opens the child’s mind to the wider world.  I remember my Dad reading “Treasure Island” to me, and another of our favourites, “Two years on Bardunyah Station”, an Australian outback cattle station where everything was larger than life.  Stories such as these allowed us to create magical images of what lay beyond and enthused us with the desire to get out and explore the world, to discover our own Treasure Islands and feel the vastness of the wide outdoors.  We were fortunate that we had empowered parents who understood this.

#Empowerment for Children

Reading to your child is empowering for them
edu101.hubpages.com

When the children do get outdoors, be there with them!  Children’s school sports days are a great place for them to show off to Mum and Dad, if they are sporting by nature.  Music recitals or dance classes are other great ways to participate in your children’s activities if they have come to love the arts.  Whether or not they are the best doesn’t matter, as long as you demonstrate your involvement, and show encouragement for their efforts!

Is it OK for a child to fail?

Empowerment for Children can only happen when the child learns to fall over and stand up to try again!  So many are nursed through childhood that when they reach teens and Mum and Dad can’t keep an eye on them every waking moment, that the first obstacle they come across flummoxes them!  They need to learn from setbacks; learn to power on despite them and because of them, learning from the mistakes and picking up the lessons!  Only in this way do they become ‘battle hardened’ for the sometimes hostile environments they will face as teens and young adults.

#Empowerment for Children

Ooops! Here comes a lesson!
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However, of critical importance is where Mummy and Daddy are when they fall, and how THEY react to their child’s failures!  Empowerment for children happens when they learn from parents that it’s not the failure that matters, it’s getting the lesson and starting over that is important!  If parents are critical of poor school results, poor sporting results or music recitals, then the child learns that it’s a hard world and their parents are just another part of it.  If instead Parents are there to encourage and teach success habits, they learn that mistakes and failings are only stepping stones to success!  They learn what we demonstrate!

This is important in another way too, because as parents we fail sometimes too, and our children know it!  They recognise in us the mistakes we make, and if we judge them harshly for their mistakes, that is what they have learned to do with us.  They become the most critical and unforgiving teenagers unless they learn the truth about mistakes – they are just part of the lifelong education system we are all enrolled in!

Empowerment for our children is directly proportional to the amount of personal empowerment we, as adult parents have.  When WE are empowered, we can empower others, especially our children.  Personal development and empowerment work for us is how we can best empower our children, and lead by example on their march into their teens and adulthood.

If you feel this post has contributed to empowerment for children, please share and reblog amongst your friends and associates.  So many parents are crying out for empowerment for children, but don’t realise that it is within reach.  Your sharing may change the life of another – everyone deserves personal empowerment and this could be the day you make a difference!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowerment for Women

#Empowerment for women

Empowered!
Image from laracatone.com

Empowerment for Women

“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin – See more at: http://livingempowered.areavoices.com/2010/10/top-25-empowerment-quotations-for-women/#sthash.xjr8fBtb.dpuf
“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin – See more at: http://livingempowered.areavoices.com/2010/10/top-25-empowerment-quotations-for-women/#sthash.xjr8fBtb.dpuf
“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin – See more at: http://livingempowered.areavoices.com/2010/10/top-25-empowerment-quotations-for-women/#sthash.xjr8fBtb.dpuf
“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin

In a previous era, women had neither the right to vote, nor the right to complain.  Most women from before 200 years ago were treated like servants or objects.  The wealthy classes in western civilizations held their women in higher esteem but they still had significantly less voice than their male counterparts.  Even those who were loved, cherished and respected by their husbands were still second class citizens in the broader community, with neither voting power nor political influence.  Their goals had to be pursued through subtleties and relationship influence. There was no #empowerment for women.

#Empowerment for women

Empowerment?
Image from chersonandmolschky.com

In eastern civilisations and cultures, even today women still have limited rights, even where they have voting powers.  Many cultures and religions do not allow their women to have an education.  They insist on them being totally covered while in public.  They are strictly forbidden communication with other men and their movements within their communities is also restricted.  There is a huge rallying cry in the Middle East right now about whether or not women should legally be allowed the right to drive motor cars!

Empowerment for women throughout history.

If we look back thousands of years, Mother Earth was The Goddess and many societies were matriarchal.  Rather than the patriarchal societies which most of the world has now, women were at the head, especially in religious and community leadership.  The men were the hunters and muscle, while the women were the nurturers and spiritual and community leaders.  Some words in common use now attest to this, words such as Amazon – referring to a tribe of female warriors, Gaia, a Mother Earth deity worshipped by many, and the Gods of mythology, Athena, Aphrodite and more.  Women had great influence in Egyptian societies from time to time, ruling equally with their Pharaohs and even without them.  The Iroquois Confederacy or League created an American Indian ‘constitution’ called The Great Binding Law of Peace dating from about 1000 AD but unwritten until the late 1800s.  This enshrined women in governing roles of the society and is a powerful document to read and assimilate.  Ken Carey wrote about it in some chapters of “Return of the Bird Tribes”.

However, in Christian societies, the patriarchal model was adopted from the dark and middle ages and we now see the Pope as the head of the Catholic Church.  Women are not even allowed to be priests, despite their once traditional roles as Priestesses!  The great exception from this rule was established by the various Queens of England and consolidated by the current Queen Elizabeth, with a continual reign of over 60 years.

Empowerment for women in the modern era.

Back on the home front, in our modern day-to-day communities, women still face a “glass ceiling” in the workplace, lower wages for the same employment roles and a smaller proportion of women in management.  They are publicly lauded as having equality in everything and various anti-discrimination bodies are set up around the world and even within the organisation of the United Nations.  However, should a woman ‘make it to the top’, it is headline news because of the rarity of the event.  Many men still feel threatened by having to work for a woman boss!

#Empowerment for women

Burning a Bra
uncyclopedia.wikia.com

In the mad rush for equality and empowerment for women through the 1960s and beyond where ‘burning the bra’ became the standard for the liberationists.  Unfortunately, women created a rod for their own backs in many ways.  Rather than celebrating their differences, many tried to ignore them and claim total equality where in truth, women and men have differences in areas of strength and weakness.  Had the push for equality of status been along these lines, perhaps the male segment of the population may not have felt so threatened and either openly or covertly tried to crush the movement.  As it is, covert discrimination still exists.  It will exist for another couple of generations, regardless of the progress of any anti-discrimination laws.

In the home, we see a huge proportion of single parent families, many women who are divorced single parents, raising their children alone.  In many cases it is because they became personally empowered and escaped a toxic relationship.  Others are because of desertion by their husbands.  Fewer men are single parents and then it is often because of the loss of the mother through some tragedy, as in divorce court outcomes, more often than not custody has been given to the mother.

This suggests a societal situation that women are less empowered in general than men.  Certainly women have less outright power.  However, there is another way of looking at it.

If we consider a relationship where domestic violence is occurring, in most cases it is the woman who is the victim.  The male is the aggressor.  However, bullying behaviour, and that is what it is, mostly occurs because of a lack of empowerment of the bully.  If this bully was a self confident person, with high self esteem and a feeling of security within themselves and about their lives in general, there would be no inclination to be a bully, or to try to overpower or exert their will by force on another person, spouse, partner or otherwise.  Therefore, who is the person with a lack of empowerment?

Will empowerment for women change the issues of the glass ceiling and domestic violence?

 

On a very personal level, empowerment for women will provide women with a greater sense of self esteem and confidence in daily living.  That is vital.  It will provide the strength women need to break down the barriers of societies everywhere, in all cultures, religions and countries, at every level of communities, to really enjoy the benefits of equality of relationships and genuinely shared, happy lives.

Empowerment for women will still threaten some men.  That is an issue that will not go away any time soon. While ever patriarchal models are cemented in place, there will be opponents to the progress of women directly in community, national, corporate and global leadership.

How can personal empowerment for women be gained?

What can an ordinary woman, with little interest in politics or other leadership roles outside her family, what can she do to gain this empowerment for women?  It’s always the little things that matter.  Just as a house is made from thousands of bricks, so is empowerment, self confidence and self esteem.  It’s the little success habits that build the character of a person, male or female, to give them empowerment in all circumstances.

Empowerment for women does not mean they are to become all powerful and domineering.  Rather, it means that as an empowered person, they have the core strength of character to refuse to accept disempowering behaviour and attitudes from others!  A critical distinction.

Can empowerment for women be misunderstood?

If you find you have to force, cajole, bully or manipulate people to get things done, you do not have empowerment; you are a bully or manipulator.  If people flock to your leadership and are eager to assist you, then you have empowerment.  That should be your goal.

At times, some women will take it too far.  As a guy who was raised by a father who was chivalrous and respected and doted on his wife/my mother, I have at times opened doors for women without asking because it was the chivalrous thing to do.  I have been told rather rudely, to perform certain almost gymnastic feats on myself for my efforts.  I paid a compliment to a lady once on the incredible colours of her dress and the rebuke was “What the hell do YOU want?”  Those women were not empowered – rather, they were suffering the same insecurities that a bully character has and that is precisely what they need to evolve beyond.

Confidence is built on repeated experiences of success.  A program that delivers repeated experiences of success, through daily pats on the back, affirmations of your self worth, consolidation and recognition of your achievements and teaches goalsetting as a way of life, is a vital and necessary component of any intention to gain empowerment for women and men.  Finding your lesson from each day, acknowledging your successes of each day, gaining awareness of and control over your moods and emotions each day, breaking through the 0ld conditioning and patterns, learning to receive love as well as give it, these are critical to personal empowerment and are all built into the Life Change 90 program, designed especially for personal empowerment.

How will you know when you have ‘got’ empowerment for women?

I was once told by a woman that the absolute worst thing that can happen is to arrive at a function and find that another woman is wearing the same dress!  An empowered woman will not be concerned.  In fact, she will have the confidence and self assuredness to make everyone think the other lady was trying to copy her, but doing a terrible job!  That is empowerment!  That level of self confidence, that ability to walk into a room and know you created waves and not be concerned about it, that is empowerment for women.  It is way beyond how you look, what you wear or weigh.  Empowerment transcends.

Empowerment for Women

An Empowered Woman
winthem.blogspot.com

However, we are not trying to empower just one woman to be a figurehead.  Empowerment for women is a global phenomenon that most people wish for.  Referring back to the Empowerment Tone Scale in a previous post, you can see that the personal empowerment of EACH woman is a small step toward empowerment for ALL women and only in this way can empowerment for women be gained.

More empowerment to you!

If you feel this post has contributed to empowerment for women, please share and reblog amongst your friends and associates.  So many people are crying out for empowerment, yet don’t understand that it is within easy reach.  Perhaps your sharing will change the life of another – everyone deserves personal empowerment and this could be the day you make a difference!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“I do not wish [women] to have power over men; but over themselves.” ~Mary Wollstonecraft

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowerment for women

Image from edelomahony.com