“The only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it and the faith to believe it is possible.”
― Rich DeVos
What would an empowered man do?
It’s easy to preach. It’s easy to lecture. It’s harder to live what you preach and lecture about. It’s especially hard when Spirit or fate or the Gods on high decide to confront you with a problem straight out of the box you were preaching from!
The question is, when something like this happens, #what would an empowered man do?
Now, an empowered man here refers to empowered women, children, teens, civic leaders, politicians, and anyone else you can think of. It’s all of us, and I’m lumping us together under the term ‘man’.
The guy (or girl) comes home, tired and well and truly over the day, it’s been a tough one. Their partner is frustrated as their day was tough too, the kids are noisy, but they just want to sit with a beer or wine and relax, let the day go and when they feel like it, come join the family. But the kids want to play, their partner wants a hand in the kitchen, stuff is happening all around and this is not a time when they can opt out for a while.
What would an empowered man do?
The question really should come back to “what is important in this life?” and start from there. Attend to the first priorities and work outwards from there, once they have been attended to.
First priority? There’s their partner standing there, tired and very frustrated with their day also. This person committed to spend their life with them, and share the joys and hassles of their family forever. WOW! Number one priority?
What would an empowered man do? He would kiss this lady, tell her he loved her and block the world out for a while. There’s a book called “The ten second kiss” that I have referred to in my seminars and it suggests that night and morning, and leaving for work and coming home from work is a powerful time for it, that you should kiss your spouse or partner for at least ten seconds. At least twice a day, at those important times.
Why? Because when you kiss someone for ten seconds with your full intention and attention on your kissing, it speaks volumes to them about your love for them, and it does them a world of good too. Things like easing tension, frustration and giving the feeling to them that they are loved and supported in every way. Sort of an antidote to a tiring and frustrating day.
What about the dinner on the stove? What about the kids? What about all the other distractions?
Take the pot off the heat – it’s only for 10 seconds! Get the kids to time you – this is a powerful way for them to see and experience what love between their parents is and should be. There is not much that cannot be put off for just ten seconds!
OK, that’s Priority 1 done. Priority 2 should be a hug for the kids. Big hug, acknowledgement for a moment, so they feel the love too, and it’s amazing how often that is enough for them for a time. Time to enable you to handle the other issues that are demanding attention. Perhaps you can be with the kids in a family way. Grab a coffee or tea, sit with your spouse and children on the couch for a few minutes, have a family hug, right after your ten second kiss. Take a few more minutes with all of you together, sharing your days. Ask your spouse about their day, their ups and downs. The same with the children, asking questions gets them present and takes their mind off concerns that drag energies down. That also allows you to catch up on the urgent news and to plan the next few minutes of dealing with the other issues, such as the dinner that’s cooking, the chores to be done, homework and so on.
What would an empowered man do? He’d first attend to his family and be nurtured by them, while he empowers them with his love and attention. He’d make this a daily ritual.
Another scenario. The empowered man (or woman) is at work and the boss yells at them, bawling them out over something, whether it’s valid or not. The boss is a chump, loud mouthed and obnoxious. The first reaction is to make a batch of ‘nose jam’ and spread it all over his face.
What would an empowered man do?
First, is it OK to get angry? Yes, and it’s natural to get angry at times. The human body and most other species become angry if provoked. It’s what happens next that matters.
We established a few blogs back that you cannot win an argument. We learnt in another blog about how to empower people when they are angry or fearful, so that you can work with them rationally and come to a good resolution.
This image is the Empowerment Tone Scale.
(Click on this image to enlarge it)
The angry person is down under the empowerment line. The fearful or grieving person is lower still, near the bottom. To relate with these people, you need to boost them and their emotional state up to the empowerment level at “interest”, near the top, even if only for a few seconds! You do that with targeted questions, relevant to the topic, but ones they need to process a little. That processing is the key to empowerment. This is because for the mind to process a question, it needs to be in a constructive state, not destructive. Asking a question raises the person’s emotional state. It empowers the person you are asking the question of.
Back to our angry boss. What would an empowered man do?
They would engage the boss with simple, relevant questions to establish the parameters of the situation. They would go on to ask about the specifics. Then they would ask the most powerful question framework “WHAT can WE do about THIS PROBLEM?” This establishes the conflict as an issue separate to either of them, but a problem they can solve as a team. A totally different scenario to when the boss walked in.
Does it work every time? Of course not. But it’s what an empowered person would do first, rather than inflame the issue with retaliation.
Of course, launching into strategies such as these without a reference point in place is going to be a challenge. For some men, if they arrived home and without warning, took their wife and kissed her solidly for more than a few seconds, it would either frighten them or make them very suspicious. After reading this blog, discuss it with your partner and adopt this practice of the ten second kiss morning and evening. Make the family hug a ritual. You’ll probably find it changes other areas of your life too.
With your boss, don’t wait until he’s furious before you try to empower him. Use simple but relevant questions all the time to build his level of empowerment and you’ll find he is much less likely to explode if and when something does go wrong. And at that time, he’ll respond better when you ask more questions, because you have conditioned the situation already. It won’t be anything new!
What would an empowered man do, to become more empowered in the first place?
How do you get to BE this way, without needing to re-read this blog when life serves you a rotten tomato?
Empowerment is not hard. It’s simple, it’s strategic and it’s constant. Constant implementing of daily success habits, morning and evening, practicing throughout the day and celebrating your successes at night. It’s challenging yourself to be the best you can, and recording your efforts to be your best. It’s dropping unproductive habits and replacing them with success habits that step you closer to your own goals every day. It’s putting yourself in a state of mind that is empowered by the environment you create around you. It’s choosing the people you associate with, the information and influences that go into your mind and surround you in your life. One tiny step at a time, all the time. It’s simple, and it’s constant.
After a while, it becomes a habit and is the state of mind you unconsciously life in.
During the learning process, we pass through four stages of competency. They are:
- Unconsciously incompetent – we don’t even know we are messing things up!
- Consciously incompetent – we know how bad we are at this new thing.
- Consciously competent – we know what to do but still need to focus to get it right.
- Unconsciously competent – it’s become a good, solid habit; no need to even think about it anymore; we do it unconsciously and get it right every time!
After a while, these new success habits that we practice daily, morning and evening, become a part of our subconscious program and we do them without thinking. We LIVE them.
What would an empowered man do? Subscribe to this program and share it amongst his family, friends and workmates, to empower them too…
If you feel this article has empowered and benefited you and you feel it could benefit the personal empowerment of other folks you know, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates. It might be the day you changed someone’s life for the better!
Til next time, fair winds and full sails,
“Freedom begins the moment you realize someone else has been writing your story and it’s time you took the pen from his hand and started writing it yourself.”
― Bill Moyers
Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment: