How to win an argument
“A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still!” Benjamin Franklin
How to win an argument?
What happens when you beat someone down into agreeing with you, just for the sake of stopping the argument?
Losers don’t get mad, they get even! That’s right; you just make enemies for the future!
So, how to win an argument, really?
You must understand what goes on in someone’s mind while they are having an argument, or when they are angry or upset or afraid, and learn to work with it, harness their emotional state, so they can be better people and work through the issue. Only then, do you learn #how to win an argument. And it’s not by winning the argument!
What DOES go on in someone’s mind while they are angry?
To understand this, you need to understand a little basic psychology – it will only take about a minute.
When someone is angry, fearful, upset, sad, depressed, terrified or even just bored, their mind is not in a state where rational thought is possible for them. All they can do is react to stimuli. That’s right, like an animal! They are operating from the reactionary part of their mind, the old animal part, the part that was there when we were a species living in caves, frightened of the dark and sabre toothed tigers. We HAD to react, to survive. In effect, this part of the brain is survival territory, where the only instincts are fight, or flight!
How is this valuable, when all you want to know is how to win an argument?
If you picture someone who is in one of these states, imagine that they are underwater. You have to raise them up, so they can breathe, hear your question and respond. Underwater, all they can do is thrash about, trying to survive.
How do you raise the mind up from those depths?
Ask it a question. It really IS that simple.
Not any question. “How’s the weather down there?” might not get the right response.
But if you are arguing with someone, or they want to argue with you, here’s a question that will work:
“HOW can WE sort THIS out?”
There is a VERY specific structure to this question.
- Life: Resolving Conflicts and Arguments (teeceecounsel.wordpress.com)
- Journal: Everything is an Argument by Andrea Lunsford (tonixactoblog.wordpress.com)